The battle is eternal and bi-directional. It needs to be fought a fresh everyday. And you win a little more space everyday. And little by little you won the war within you, with pertinence and preservence like a warrior.

There is a moment when there is suggestion lets sleep longer, lets call Lin, lets call akhil, lets eat pizza, lets play with your libido. If given up the voice start to increase its demand. No physical unease and mind is concentrated yet the voice says lets rest we have been working for 5 months.

It is the classic case of temptation impulse has gone and the promise is just dissatisfactory downhill, and then it just takes more and more effort to balance the state.

It is the past samkaras the dilluded idea of happiness. That I deeply know is unsatisfactory. It is the junction of self mastery vs. Giving up the battle. It is the opportunity to master that weakness.

...

On the other spectrum is insecure, The Mexico girl, The corner girl in zostel. Or the German girl.

The cause of it is lack of skill or self worth or general distrust in the world altogether.

It is when Mexico girl stand up before I said anything and order ton of food just so I would think high of her. It is when corner girl closed her body language even more so I won’t approach. It is the coldness of German girl.

They are unintrusive, so you don’t have to do anything. They are living in their own world, and wants to left alone. What’s wrong in it.

The mid way is the greedy [ the wife of Dharamshala ], Players [Anurag], I am smart [Akhil], Sympathy seeker [Sohail].

It is the self importance but not very rigid and with better communication can be handled this perfectly.

It is when wife of Dharamshala said she wants more rent. When Anurag manuplate me to ask akhil for his benefit. It is when akhil tell me the co-dependent to show me what he knows to be appricated. It is when sohail says Tell me what I should do.

Just giving what these people need. money, game, praise and sympathy can be one solution.

Giving them corrective feedback if they want to listen could be another. You can tell your prespective and reinfornce it. Get clear how you do the bussiness but be generous.

Or you can withdraw knowing there is nothing more here.

[ abusers, screamer, disrespector, advisior ] - On the meta level other person is saying your beliefs are unworthy, you are unworthy. You should do this thing. Let me show you the way.

Ankit father beating him, Krishana saying ya, that will not work here, mom shouting at prachi, so you would see. BL sharma saying his father is just an employee. You should do the job by chetanya.

The pattern with different intensity is just superimposing their understanding on other, the lesser the understating, deeper the attachment the more louder the voice is.

• The easy reaction would be to just listen and don’t say anything. In that case you are encouraging them.
• The other response would be set a boundaries, and make clear you would not respond to screaming and abusing, ask them to speak like a normal person. You can add penalties to this satyagrah, not talking, withdraw.
• You can also just...

The spectrum - At one extreme is our Abuser [ Ankit father ], then Screamer [ Mom ], then Disrepector [ BL sharma ], then the advisior [ Chetanya ]

On the Mid way is the greedy [ Wife of dharmakot ], Player [ Anurag ], I am smart [ Akhil ]. The sympathy seeker [ sohail ]

On the other end if spectrum of insecure [ The Mexico girl ] and withdrawn [ the corner girl zostel]

Spirituality -

• Vipassana | moment to moment awareness | assessment.
• Pratyahra.

Work -

• The e-myth
• The platform revolution
• Henry ford.
• Gurrila marketing.

Social -

• The art of dependent relationship.
• Meditate on end to end realtionship.

Health -

• food re-audit
• APM

Others
Haircut
Shoes
Clothes, jeans

3 days week.

spiriutality -

• Finished vipassana on Tuesday,
• realigned know what matters.
• 2 hr regular vipassana practice with moment to moment awareness.

social -

• the art of dependent relation | the state not the person.
• patterns of dependent relation.
• the types of dependent relation.
• the art of communication of dependent people
• letter to lin.

work -

• zero to one.
• setting the bussiness box.

health -

• 3 yoga class.

Hey Lin ?

I lately realised I ended up with you quite harshly and I feel very sorry for that. You were such nice, warm hearted person and it was just rude from me to stop communicating with you as a friend.

How are you? Tell me you are studying for your exams!

I am in bangalore until October first week. Let me know if you like to meet.

And ya, there is this mindfit thing in Koramangala which is a1000yoga rebranding, you can try free classes it’s good.

From last few days I am feeling like I have done wrong with lin, she opened her heart to me, and i probably wounded her by closing completely all at once, and this urge of saying sorry is coming from my heart.

I haven’t found any partner, or went out on dates in last 2 months. I am also realising there is absolutely nothing to explore in Kavita and vadi, although going out will bring experintal realization. Is that can be a reason.

By now she must have atleast moved on somewhat. If she has found something, if not she might be quite hurt, because in a way she did nothing and got the broken heart.

I will be leaving in oct and then probably when coming back she is gone.

Say sorry, you own it to her, she deserve, it her choice. Meet once. Make it clear what your priorities are. Be friend. She was quite rare gem.

reaction - so I am in the dependent state and what someone else is saying is something I don’t like, and I took it personally and there is a reaction inside me, that will turn it into a war, and the person who has most power will dominate the scenario. The power could be structural or power could be need based. If you have rightly interpreted the situation and has master the sankaras of past, there is no reaction.

lose-win - don’t stir the pot, let them have their way, keep the noise at bay. This reinforce their behaviour which is distastorus for the, and you get to be dominated and feel like shit. this is what I have been doing so far with painful results. The very essence of leadership is to lead dependent people.

no deal - stop dealing with them all together like vidhyashram case but then start ignoring the toastmaster giy here. This is not the solution either, maybe the last...