Now there are two aspects, one is I need to work through the mountblue for next 3 months and second I need to get into either toptal or get some remote work, only these two goals are there.

Mountblue - This will be great in terms of first helping other people, then learning the teamwork, and getting the hang of the education sector and teaching, it might be something I come back again. The second aspect is that it is fixed and I can use this opportunity to learn and train myself and other aspects and then it is aligned in a way that teaching is helpful to learn myself, I can work my way to the leadership many many ways I can really utilize this opportunity.

What I need here is one clear sheet of what session I am going to take, what project and reviews just plan the class and get the ambiguity out. Then there will be the difference in opinion, conflicts etc. use them to be a better...

She is very helpful, generally speaking generous, homely. She does not demand much and does a lot for me. She compromises a lot, there is a general chemistry between us. She is lives with less easily.

She has a poor self-esteem, a lot of suppression, she has no particular direction in life and can depend for happiness from me which cannot be fulfilled. there are good chances that she has some psychosomatic disease, she has gone through the horrible past like bad pregnancy, poor family history, destructive mom, dad’s death, she has no ambition.

When I am in the relationship, it feels good to have someone when you come back. she smiles and hugs you. it is also very convenient that someone helps you with so many things. If there is a social need relationship fills it perfectly. If you are alone you might feel lonely and at unease and a thought of doing this for the rest of your life could be painful.

A relationship puts some demand on you, it is not as simple to just come to the cafe and work, that can be taken personally by her. It also comes with the whole package. there are conflicts and compromises. A relationship moving forward may even include family and other responsibilities.

Then there are mutual things like sex, where my preference is affecting her.

• by living in ambiguity I am becoming weak, indecisive. things are decaying and creating bad taste. If you are not leading it forward it is sliding backward.
• do not waste your time and her time. the consequences come later. you are 29 and she is 32, this will keep her on the hook and you will find yourself in a very tight spot later.
• the problem will not be solved by itself, be the man and do the right thing.
• the choice you need to take whether you want to take it forward or you want to end it.
• the way you are moving is impulsive, you are just keep taking easy choices and keep making yourself weaker.

What if I cunt down all the fat. All the unnecessary stuff and put complete focus on very few things and actually hold myself accountable to those things. day and night.

I know what is important and I also understand the mind at some relative scale and keep increasing my knowledge. What if I take the challange of the mind first and put everything on it, the best mind in the world. cut down any thing that can remotely be the cause of the disturbance. Balance other thing but lets first go crazy with the mind and see where you can go, this is the first and formost thing I know is of deep interest.

Than take the subject of work and relationship and master it, but if the foundation is left weak these things need to keep changing. and be useless.

What am I striving for?
There is awareness of deeper and deeper aspects of mind. In the beginning, it was characters like an amateur problem solver, now it is about beliefs and judgment and voice and sensations. personality. I can see them but they affect me. With each iteration of vipassana I get a little deeper. can see something about the mind which I was not able to see before. That experiential understanding is wisdom. My vision is expanding in terms of my inner state. After some times I will leave the mind or will be in complete control.

There is another understanding which is clear as rock that mind will continue like this, there is something in the mind right now and there will be something else in the mind after sometimes and that voice and sensation will continue regardless of outward conditions. Finding the peramanent solution for that is my pursuit. Training and transcending...

Spirituality - What I am striving for? What practices I should follow that will lead me to that? What are the intermediary stations? What I know for sure? And Build upon it? What should be the next step? What I can do without overloading myself.

Know where you are going? Know the level of importance! Know what practices that will take you there? What is counterproductive? Set the expectation based on your past experience. Just remove all the fat and set down the expectation based on your experience.

Social - What is essential in order of priority, What are the most pressing questions. What is the big picture? What are the trifiling matters? What fat I can remove in terms of social context and What are the most in-depth cuts I can make. What about sex and relationship? Networking, Teamwork, Leadership? What about family daynamics?

What is the big picture? What is important and...

It was kind of reentry to social life and as I interact with the real world, it pushed me to learn for real.

I became a little aloof and started working on my own. I could have taken advantage of seeing what another teammate is doing and work in collaboration. I was clearly lacking in the term of team work. What ever that means. I certainly did implement several ideas from other people and gave ideas to other people. I didn’t even see what other people are doing.

In the Cohort, my role was as a leader. In a big picture I did a good job. One thing I can imporve is stop making fun of other people. and start making fun of yourself. There was very open criticism from me, which I can improve. There should be a system so everyone gets enough attention. And I need to be somewhat more sympathetic and focused on less mature people. There was also a testing mechanics going on.

There was...

In the foundation, the skill is problem-solving. whether it is puzzle or real life scenario

So you have given a problem, for example, the pet move. So the first thing is going to be, first thing you are in or you are repulse.

Then there has to be a clear comprehension of the problem. You are not confused about the problem but clearly understands it.

Distraction and ego become to obstacles. There is a sense of irritation and aversion to not being proved fool.

The ideal way to solve the problem is to break down in smaller problem if it is possible like TDD. and focus on first chunk. With practice we can learn to see the problem in right light.

One of the worst approach could be trying to solve the whole problem in once.

Another road block we hit is the lack of the knowledge. To solve a perticular type of problem, you need to know the tool relevent to that problem. The better...

Toptal | Remote work -

• Freedom of place.
• Paid well to have resources.
• The Quality to people and projects
• Freedom to choose.
• No long term commitment.

• Network on global scope.

  • Strong commitment to tech.
  • Working in tech that moves quickly to become obsolete.
  • Fear of lose of time.

*Mickensy | Deloitte *

• The community and working with really smart people.
• Connection and network
• Brandname
• The resources there to grow fast.
• Moving toward resources and executive roles.

• Paid well to have resources.

• Locking

• Lack of control

• Full-time commitment

• Politics

London | Netherland -

• Exposure to a new culture.
• Could be in the more fertile culture to grow professionally.
• Good chance to deal with a more mature and professional environment.

• MBA. and other resources.

• Setting up in new env.

• Locked

• Could be a highly materialistic world.

• Lonely

Javascript co-oprate trainer.

• No change required
• Fr...