so in the evening we went to millet, and then polar bear. I helped her to pack bags, and had dinner of mangos, I liked how comfortable she is around me, the ease, the acceptance and the laugh.

Something unexpected happened yesterday. As I was saying goodbye to Lin. There was very strong sincerity in the kiss. and I told her this is the last time, I don’t want her to hold on, and I will not reply to her message. and when she is here I will be gone. And she cried as I hugged her tight, and kissed hard.

she packed me apple and mangos and handed me 5 page long love letter.

It was serious, as I finally left that door, after somewhat heart wrenching kiss, I felt strong unease at my heart. it makes me angry, sad. I started to cry in a way. it was sad but in a way beautiful, I have never felt that level of acceptance.

when I come home, I became bitter with the call of parents. It hurts me...

The main reason -

• The conflict of interest. For me it is mainly about learning, exploration and emotional fulfilment. For her it is becoming way too serious like soulmate, commitment, serious relationship. And this comes with some non-verbal expectations which are causing discomfort to me.

The effect of breaking-up-

• This will probably sting her. But if done correctly will soften the blow. But if you communicate properly And then totally cut down the communication, within a month or so she will be normal. But if you keep her on hook. She will continue this for long.

For me it is not that serious. I can recalibrate my efforts and grow.

The effect of not breaking-up - if you don’t get this clear, she will hang on to this for long time in the hope. Like sohail. You don’t want to do that.
Otherwise she can meet other people.

For me, it can be devastating, I don’t want that kind...

The conflict -
For me the main purpose of this relationship was to explore, learn, experince, and filling emotional tank. At this point in life I want to explore more instead of any sort of commitment.

For her this seems to be more intense like the ideals of love and soulmate, she is changing flights and plans because of me, she is becoming more attached.

And its this attachment and expectation that is causing me scary discomfort.

1. Breakup - You must clearly need to communicate that you are not intersted in soulmate kind of stuff and set the expactation in the right place. What is the right expectation?

This was mainly about killing the loneliness not attachment. She is leaving tomorrow and I don’t want you to hang on to me. Explore life. This was a nice episode but it has to end here.

What is recent is easy to correct.

1. Soft continue - if you continue softly, not being clear...

Yesterday we cooked lunch together, beetroot, salad, lassi, patatao, ice cream, paratha. while fooling around a little. That was easy, close and fun experience, she told me we eat from the same bowl and I like that. There was acceptance, intimacy, playing self. Emotional filling. Then I slept a bit kissed her and then went to work.

In the evening we played from 9-12|1. And morning ?:8:30. She was very comfortable with me, and I am very confident ( sometimes even playing confident ) with all the aspects.

Then she said maybe we are soulmate, love at first sight and why she likes me, now this was quite a new experince for me and didn’t directly reply. But it scared me a little in terms of her commitment level.

I just didn’t know what and how to communicate. I didn’t have enough clarity, what should I do.

Relationship -

• educate and master intimacy.
• the balance, communication and tank.
• meeting J.

Work -

• stay focused.
  • edit video.
  • direct | slides | audio and music.
• adding intro.
• post | youtube ad.
• how to build strong self-esteem.
• the online mastery course.

Health -

• try new yoga studio
  • Ayushmen\ Sparsh\ Bindu.

Spirituality -

• tighten the morning ritual.

Yesterday I took lin for dinner at om made cafe, she was extremely happy when she heard I will take her for a romantic dinner. Spent almost 2 hours in om made cafe which flew by and then we went to medley place. Come back to home by 10. Stay awake until 1 and wake up at 5-6. And play till 8.

We played 36 questions, with a bit of a hiccup and then she become so interesting that she wasn’t even want to wait for listening me. I shared things like stealing money and relationships. She shared her struggle with mom, father’s death, and love for music. There was things like tell five +be things about your partner, which induced kind of a cute play in the mix. This was a very good experice, open each other very nicely. The food was decent. And ambience was a cool. And she likes to hold my arms which makes me feel good.

When we came back, we were kind of tired. Took a bath, freshen up. And then...

Relationship -

• the tone of relationship | what is it about.
• the social bucket. And how to fill it.
• education in intimacy.
• the realtionship map.
• the realtionship with Lin.
• the night with Lin.
• dinner date | intimacy | breakfast..

work -

• learning and editing in premier pro. All modules.
• reshot how to stay focused.
• edit and directing the shot.

Core -

• Sydney Poiter | The voice of knowledge.

Yesterday She cutely surprised me in cuppa. I liked that. Had some conversations, a yoga class, dinner, walk in a park, and then we stayed up till one, and some morning cuddlings and breakfast in macD. I love the ease, comfort and play. Jokes, laughs and authenticity.

At one point I was trying to plan to go to her place, and then I let go and things smoothly fall into the place.

She is here for a week, she said, 3 July, I believe. Now the question is, how should I lead this for the next week.

At the moment I have good ties with my family. mom, dad, bhai and Prachi. Then I am almost in a relationship with Lin. Me and Jeylasa has become pretty good friend and keep meeting every other week.

Preksha came and fade away, ritika became friend, I don’t like her habit of gossiping about other people and me. Akhil, Dhapola and Anurag seems to fading out in a river of time. So is people like pratap and Tushar. I am in occasional contact with sohail.

A1000 Yoga was a nice community. I had a good stranger relationship with charan, Swati, Nishara, Vineet, Divya. And then a decent exchnage of belonging with people who come there.

Ashayien is another community I liked. and enjoyed meeting people and serving there. Toastmasters is something that really collide with my interest, but I found some people are kind of self-centered and no true belonging seems to be present. and I am totally...

So I am exploring the relationship with Lin. She is your girlfriend. See what it brings and what it takes from your life.

What are you looking for! What is she looking for! What is good for both! You are the one who needs to lead.

We can have a deep experience how being in a relationship can improve the quality of life! How does it affect the balance of emotional need and loneliness. What kind of overhead it brings.

This experience can clean a lot of blockage inside me, refine my understanding and give me expiences in the area where I desperately need experience. And answer several questions and fill the gaps in the puzzle.

So how you wanna go about it!