Around some people you don’t feel good and around some people you do feel good and around some people you do feel good. The conversation is smooth and easy. This is one important factor.

More aligned the pursuit is the better relationship will feel. then it becomes like a common pursuit. I am interested in vipassana and communication and social, entreprenuership and yoga…

Genreal make up of other person should be positive. Should not be negative and the mind should not be closed.

And then comes the attraction,

My mind is deciding what is pleasent and unpleasnt and makind decision based on it is not the right way to get into relationship. No matter what girl you choose these will always be there.

A good relationship is when two people sharing life together, and it is makind each others life better together. Both allow other person to pursue their primary desires, calling etc. while supporting them with their gifts. The more aligned the dreams of both are the better the relationship is.

There is natural attraction, deeper than sexual attraction, or attraction of a desire, you feel good around someone. and then there are people you don’t so much.

The worse type of relationship where both are trying to fill one’s desire, espically sexual attraction, since this can never be filled. where other person has to do things because ones desire.

Both must go into the same direction and the direction...

In this vipassana retreat, several time I experienced the Joy of serving, and eating in the last, even if that means sometimes not getting food.

There was also growing sense of compassion towards people who were eating more.

It was not always, but certainly the heart start to open up and selfishness starts to dissolve a little bit.

Until I was doing videos I was doing good, extra ordinarily confident. Then after video I spent some time in Dharamshala, heeru, trying to come up with next step. and hustling, and then seeing my finances are taking hit. coming back to programming and failing and failing to make the right judgement. things getting challenging and being able to come up with a clear decision. I dragged decision for long as well.

At some point I started to react to the situation instead of understanding it and then acting over it. I was making decision that because the number on back account looks good, or atleast it helped me to buy laptop.

There is this attraction towards women, and it is distorting, I saw sruti, her skin and youth is attractive, so is with sneha, and other women, if my priorites are not clear. this becomes primary decision maker.

Also when my mind see a beautiful women it starts to think of breaking up with Lin etc. The process is simple I see a beautiful women, there is some desire within and I start to get pull to talk to them etc.

This should be the least important aspect. the reason is there will always be someone more attractive. and the beauty will fade with time anyway.

Replace it with priorities.

One of thing that feels bad in a relationship is when I have some expectations like I like her to wear bra and heels and play bondage and she denies. Where I have certain attraction which she can fulfill but those are agianst her principles.

Another thing I dislike is when she talks negative and fearful things like I will get cancer, my health is bad, victim stories.

Another thing I dislike when she doesn’t want to be with me but she is.

Another thing is when she disrespectfully talked to me. or cut me off.

My concern with Lin are following.

Her health issue and the low energy it causes her to be in bad mood.

These health issues can be pyscho-somatic.

Undirectional. she doesn’t have any kind of drive. Yoga she is into.

All the ideas of love and all.

I like being with her on the energetic level.

In many ways, she is like me.

She simple. honest, homely person.

She is...

This whole search for partner will be over.

The one big difference will be the commitment. Now the exploration will be how can we build the life together.

I have some aspiration, she has some aspirations, I have some challenges and she has some challenges.

There were times when It felt really trapping, the relationship, there were times it felt very soothing.

Lin has health issue, and that affects her mind as well. She has a rather poor past. Her intellectual performance in the present is very poor as well. She might even have problem bearing child. She might even has a closed mindset.

She is homely, nice person, she knows and understand the direction I am going into and is rather accomodative. Its been 2 year I still like being around her. We know each other and has gone through different phases of relationship. She has a depth, and has a natually sharing heart. She doesn’t...

is it better to be alone or be in a relationship?
I have spent enough time alone as well as in relationship. When I am alone I can focus more on meditation and personal growth. There is a sense of lack or lonliness espeically if it was hard working day or if I am not working socially.

When I am being alone, women starts to attract me. There is also an element of not just being alone, but being clear and directed vs. being kind of lost.

What are the good parts of relationship?
One of the best part is when I know I will come back to home and their will be someone at home, just being there, kind of hugging and talking.

I also like she sleeping next to me.

The aspect where she took care of me when I was injured and she took care of me.

There was a time when we walked to buy those mangos. the sweet surprises she gives me.

Just kind of like being around her. and when she hugs me back...

Clearity is on the level of mind, and ego. There is confliciting thoughts, desires, ideas, and thoughts. There is no magic here. It is just a sorting process. It means getting things out of your mind. sorting them and getting to the point where you have clear cohisive framework. and line of action.

It is has to be done in the framework of 4 domains.

Clarity is matter of effort.

In the absense of clear understanding of what I want from relationship. There is no way I can take decision on the challenges relationship presents.

Without relationship there is a sense of lonliness, and women starts to feel attractive. when in relationship, It is engaging and it feels good,