Today morning there suppose to be the presentation and I was at unease that no one was making any preparation and then I message shashi and later went down stare and said people we will do it at 10:30 and then started at 10.00. I felt a little uncomfortable, saying shiva and clinching when their code starts to break down and all. pretending to write.

My general expectation that it should be great but alex batch disappointed. I thought I will give them the day off. relative let down.

In feedback I gave positive feedback to almost all and quiet negative feedback to team 1 in front of every one and that made the room serious. After that I gave in room lash out and advice to team 1 which they didn’t apply.

I felt as if alex was too much over smart and wasn’t listening.

After lunch I took a walk, and realise I that I wasn’t leading properly, so I went back and did a code review for...

I live alone by myself in last 3-4 months, before that I live with Lin for an year. Sometime I feel at this point disinterested in general and finds women attractive, and sort of start having the desire for meeting people.

I enjoy working with kids sometimes time flies by when I talk to them and help them in a way that is useful to them.

Generally I go for the lunch with these people when I feel like socializing more, but the quality of conversation quickly shows me this is not what I want.

I found more weight on lin’s letter or preksha’s classes since I am less involved.

I am learning very fast about social conduct and getting fairly skilled in it quickly, it is the practice that I am lacking.

Another aspect is I am very good socially in right env. also, I may not look as good at the moment because the env. I am dealing here is very rajasic and all.

Just keep getting better. Day...

A new phase of life is starting within two days. I have invested heavily in programming in last one year and it was an engaging year, infect work was the center piece of it. At this point I am financially stable and technically capable. This is the time to take another round of risk, taking in account last year experiences. The another round of meditation should give you at least some depth in understanding.

Thinking what to do after vipassana is waste since the state of mind is going to be drastically different after the end of vipassana session.

There are some impressive growth in last 3 months, no ejaculation and not even much thoughts about it, regular 2 hours practice, solid technical knowledge, much better inner understanding. solid health. financially hitting 20lakhs +, experience of deep relationship, law book. there are slight looseness in routine but it is remarkable.

What I...

Its been 3 months I have been doing this projects and around 4 months or so I have been living by myself. In this period I meditated strongly, I learnt a lot from my own experiences, read.

Spiritually, My meditation practice is getting stronger, and I am able to see more and more of what is happening within me. Another iteration of meditation is coming which will lead me a little bit deeper. The awareness seems interesting and the block on one level start to detach, looks like in a way powerless.

The deep interest in awareness is becoming evident, the control over block is coming, rearrangement of block is happening,

The constant practice of vipassana is establishing and bearing more fruits.

I am waking up later slowly it has come to 7 today from 6. and even though I am writing daily logs, I am not refreshing know what matters. and refining the laws. and reading daily spiritual lessons.

There was push and pull on doing algos but I continued.

Konark tried to make joke and response was good hearted and there was no sensation of being maken fun of.

Preksha’s behaviour, Lin behaviour some time there are a huge interest and some times there is a lack of it.

There was demo today I made fun of shiva and could have appriciated konark.

Mom canceled vipassana because of tooth surgery, but she seems genuienly interested father is also seems to be interested.

I felt a little bit in the sense deciding and achiving goals are fun but dry in a way, looking at women.

I attempted and hustled and learned with prefix algorithm but I think It leads to drainage of the energy and somewhat disturbed and annoyed mind, temporarily.

In the stanup I notice people ask question about what matters to them, konark good heardly made a joke on me, we should send some laggered to you. I felt unease momenteirly about being made fun of, or preception of it.

In the evening I read the book pragmattic programmer which require less processing and I felt engaged in that even when I was kind of drained.

In the evening while attending yoga class, preksha didn’t pay attention and was talking to other guys, I felt affected by it, momentarily

I was telling brother that shall I book the ticket for the mom and he replied this problem and that problem. I felt irritated for a moment and thought well maybe I will book her ticket for the same day only. later he called and told me in apologetic tone, what did they say.

In the evening I went to CCD and clear the head and start working on left over problem and solved it with 100% accuracy. created the weekly plan and felt strongly directed.

After the lunch I kind of jumbled around between tasks. watch video of astakvakra, impact theory, wrote the skill map, read the pragmatic programmer. did logistics.

In the stand up I observed the same pattern of one person giving update and other person challenging it or giving opnions, and I refuted opinion of konark and he asked question to sachin and then said ya that’s ok.

Only a week is left in this batch. I am getting better and better, I learnt a lot my core skills as a javascript guy is solid, I am a solid full stack engineer and I am also getting better in terms of algorithm and clean coding started.

In this last week as I will continue to focus on these two areas I will be getting better in these. just cut down rest of the noise and focus on these 2. algos and pragmatic programmer. complete 10 chapter of algo and go as far as possible with pragmatic programmer.

My knowledge of spirituality is becoming more abvious as what is mind and what is I. and all. the practice of vipassana is regular and bearing fruits. Going forward I have an intense vipassana retreat coming. which will potentially establish me and get me a little bit more deeper in my understanding.

Health wise I am doing pretty good, good good, regular yoga, and yearly checkup are in...

In the afternoon I went through the vue tutorial, it was quite off the calibration and I took many break and felt fatigued after it. But I complete it. in the evening I felt a bit like just taking rest and not doing anything.

The delivery guy from HDFC called and delivered that is the effect of not being in power has.

In the evening I felt a bit agitated and with that all kind of thoughts were surfacing I should take preksha out for dinner, and so on. The skin thing.

In the standup I am paying close attention and saw how people asking others to justify and when my turn came I stumbled to explain why I didn’t do the elastic search and they move on. When the answer should be a clear No.

In the morning while the time I usually spent on learning I was writing mail to lin, it was a bit confusing to tell her to come here and a bit happy.

while the auto driver was droping me I needed to ask the favour to stop, and then I paid him extra.

The press lady seems offended.

The interviews I took the me heavily got influenced by the first guy by his way of talking and presenting himself. and then by santu’s opnion on the second guy.

Intial inertia and than I like programming.

While talking to ashok, me was child like and felt bad when I was trying to tell jokingly about my poor performance with girls.

I observed very cloesly the conversation, how konark was asking santu to justify and sachin as well and how they were not backing off, how he was very unsure at the time of deployment and how in a way he talked to sashi in a disrespectful tone.

In the morning it was hard to get...