The purpose of these are not to gain intellectual knowledge it is specifically useless but to see the truth within. And see their suggestion and how to follow through.

Ideally I would like to do a good 3 hrs. meditation session on a scripture and see through it.

Ideally the place should be distraction free. Home is a very good option. coworking spaces can also be good option, cafes are not.

So let’s do it from tomorrow. 8-11. Morning at home.

There are some clear dos and don'ts in a relationship.

Don'ts: -

• There has to communication when the expectation is not being matched, instead keeping it inside and later it becomes resentment and then hatred and breakage. Avoid this.
  • Relationship can not be just about me, It has to be mutually fullfilling
  • Relationship can not solve your personal issue.
  • Relationship can not be built on the foundation of sense pleasures.

What it ask for -

• Relationship asks for the sacrifice for the freedom at some degree and gives the stability of the partner.

Dos -

• Giving more than taking.
• Not controlling but helping. Doing things which are good for her.
• Helping her to grow in a meaningful way.

Morning I spend too much time in the bed which created 2nd degree consequence of lethargic undirected mind.

I brought bike on a quick decision, a part of me wants to delay unnecessary but I didn’t that leads to a small quirk me not checking the back mirror, but the job gets done. later it turns into the kind of lets do this and that which I let go.

In the evening I told monkey that we do celibacy for the next 9 months, i should better put it into more asking way instead of telling and commanding.

Mind, Awareness and Self Mastery. On this area, more meditation retreat, given the visiblity, how can you raise the bar, This.

Relationship, Lin, and Closure. How a good relationship should be, Give and take with Lin, all the possibilities.

Programming on next level - Data structure, clean coding, pragmatic programmer. take a course.

health - Panchkarma, Yoga TTC.

In meditation I sit in adhisthan, there are different sensations sleepy, blocking, and smooth, in blocking it is hard to move back. moving back and forth reveals the pattern.

With Lin I started kissing and then it was moving more towards the passion, mind has its way to create the opposing force on true beliefs.

I was writing the know what matters, and I reached a point where It was hard to move forward and requires energy a force to push forward.

In Chulha chohki we ordered veg because I thought she likes it but it was not what she wanted nor i have any strong wish to eat that. out of niceness we did something that none of us actually wanted to do.

There is a series of thoughts, I slowly comes into it, and there are just I thoughts as well, there are sensation that are highly connected to I and they changes and everything changes. There is an awareness that observes it.

There is an intellectual level where these actions are shallow and information rules everything there are false information as well.

Any kind of suffering happens on this doer level. There are strange habits of testing each information to resolve on to this level. confusion, conflict, decision and all my problem exist on this level.

There is a strong visibility but partial understanding of this level. Each vipassana helps to strengthen it. This much can be resolved in some time.

The result would be based on clear seeing what I need to do and what I don’t need to do, what are the possiblities. These things can be seen and understood.

There is this thing that is...

buying a bike - consider buying a bike.
taxes for the year and maybe gstine.
clothes and grooming.

There is panchkarma, yoga class and TTC.

I saw people without marriage and serving vipassana, and clearly don’t see myself there.

I saw the contradiction of marriage in mind and about lin, and it is in the mind only. how conflicting information leads to that decision deadlock. And it can be solved with clarity to head and working over mind,

I also saw how my selfishness leads to the place of relationship which was unhealthy, how her unablitiy to speak the mind created the chaos.

This decision can be taken at this point, If I can calmly think about it, come to the point of decision.

A related desire to dress well comes into the mind.

Ofcourse the communication is always there.

In the realm of work I feel like taking one course this year the next one, learning more about programming. and then maybe eventually move to london.

There is another good opportunity comes in the form of this online teaching platform thing that can be taken look at.

There is related topic of finance, and thinking long term in the sense of buying house and so on so forth.