I just completed vipassana. 30 days. The visibilities of the mind is incredible. There were deeper realization of different aspects of awareness and mind. The ease and peace with which I can see the mind. the thoughts.

I practiced very sincerely, for 30days I didn’t break the flow. and there was so many things that seems so important in the moment came and gone. the marraige. the 9 months plan. so much desire to dress better. maybe work, I don’t even remember them and they keep coming and going, a day something seems so important and another day attentionless,

There was an incredible exercise of stamina that regardless of what is coming and going it is still a thought and sensation and can be seen, maybe engaged but can be seen.

There was this flow of thoughts and I was being created and destroy, then I found this I is a desire, then there was such a strong connection of sensation...

There was this tussle of wether I am doing this to protect the ego or practice this domination, In front of that girl in ccd I was feeling I should dominate but I acted nicely. The whole day it was I should dominate asking for the water. I was acting wired some places.

There was a slight unease about the mini’s eye contact. I was scolding mom when i could actually explain her better. Father was very happy about the routine.

Prachi made food at 10:30, I wanted to go for the CCD early but had to wait for the food.

When I asked for the green tea and it was not there than I got kind of confused and order chai in a way. I could defer the time and make better choice.

I asked for the pulav and the silence was telling me it was not pleasing request. also prachi made financial request today.

The practice is simple, observe the breath and build the focus, and observe the sensation from top to bottom and other way around with the understanding of wisdom. Anything other than this is not the Vipassana.

There are certain obstacle, lethargy and agitation, trails of thought, lack of effort. and in the moment of weakness, It is hard to challenge these obstacles. The way to deal with these obstacles, effort is 2+3+4+1, no matter how much and less effort you can put. still sit through this pattern. This take care of effort. No matter what thought or feeling they are still thought and feelings and they changes, don’t get trapped by them, continue practice without being entangled in them, Sit through agitation and lethargy they won’t kill, and they are impermanent.

Moderate food, and full time practice of vipassana, that’s all.

The benefits are purity of mind, increased awareness of...

I was coming back from CCD, and the driver played a negotiation trick, I said 5km, he said you tell, I said you and he suggested 80, I said 60 and he agreed.

Eating out of the taste and watching kungfoo panda. and extending the limits by working.

There is constant checking of email, and even looking at picture of Lin.

Vipassana I have done 10 times served 4 times.

The practice of vipassana is simple, you observe the breath and sharpen the focus and then observe the sensation from top to bottom and bottom to top and realise the impermanence and changing nature of it and build equanimity based on it.

Vipassana claims to purify the mind from the defilement, increases the self awareness exponentially, and leads to insights into the truth. with experience I totally support it.

There is an incredible chance ahead of me, truly incredible, 30 days of cleaning and purification. I am in a good shape all around and I want to fully take advantage of this opportunity. I will do 2+3+4+1 meditation only when I need to go for the ureine I will do it. regardless of how I feel what thoughts coming to the mind, they are still just the feeling and thought and my job is to not engage in them but to practice to let...

Father was quiet happy with all the test and the support and at one point he said today’s whole day is went because of me, in the evening I return his money and he didn’t offer back even though I have no intention of keeping it, “I” felt bad.

There was this dentist who was instead of telling us what should be done in terms of dental health was giving his own serman, out of unbalanced politness he took way too much time from us and I sit unnecassarily.

There was an incident when I asked for the ultrasound to again an amature women who was doing her “Job” and out of carelessness she said you can go, i also lied that my father had 1-2 litter water few hours back.

To mom I gave the feedback of the report in somewhat negative light.

I was tired but I make sure all the work related to father is done.

There was consistent “I” making all kind of suggestions and taking all kind of things...

I eat for the taste of puri.

We decided to go to the samridhi, I think their was the loose suggestion from my father and I made the big one, maybe no one was deeply interested and it was tiring experience.

My brother was not seeing any fault of the builder but trying to see everything in the extreme positive light.

While having food one I compromised with my value in terms of eating healthy than my brother wants to eat more and all and I felt giving unncessary advice based on misery,

There was a moment when I shouted on brother and everyone was looking at me in surprise.

There was a feeble voice of comptetion and making me right while seeing brothers flat, so is there was another voice that was making me irritated in the evening feeling tired and drained and father is trying to play with the kid brother is kind of forcing when that card didn’t work. the kid is crying and all.

I spoke a lot about me to the kids, I travelled and flunk in the collage and in the evening the repetitions and lost were huge.

Konark talked to me in total my benefit oriented way, we will pay you in between and you can think while you are here. I agreed to pay me for the month and full and final later, and later I had to tell him I want now for the tax purpose.

I was pretty much wasting the whole day, I wasn’t able to focus on algos and pragmatic programmer etc.

In the evening I was rushing and infect I left the MF in the auto.

I defaults to others comfort.

My father is coming to vipassana but most likely my brother is not.

My brother seems to be uncomfortable taking new things and communicating it through the childs defense. My father seems to be excited but doesn’t know the deal clearly.

I am becoming more and more clear about the ego and beliefs within the blocks.

There is a old habit of being on defensive when himanshu asked for the help, I start telling use some other api. to avoid being invloved and then I went back and check with him.

I was not feeling drawn towards putting energy to solve algos and read pragmatic programmer.

Today I had sweet gujia. I woke up on time. paid the 2 month rent, I wanted to appear as I am cool so I omited and rent price and then added and then felt unease.

Morning I did 3 hrs. meditation.

I was fairly dominating in the conversation with CCD girl and quiet comfortable with saloon girl.

I am extra cautious about money.

I was walking in the M/F store but didn’t brought anything, even though I kind of like few stuff.

In the evening I started working on managing the laws and I felt engaged.

There is this guy sending message after message about researching education