I saw being paid for the month 2.5Lk and there was a surge of paying back and happiness. the same mental voice was getting out of balance in the mood of geneorsity and self cheershing.

While satyansh was giving the presentation I was getting irritated and mind was clearly in the mood of backlashing and disrespected him in front of people by using authority.

I am looking at women feet.

There is a mental struggle and I am taking walk and detouring from the subject.

I was feeling less productive maybe because of the medicine. and then I did work but wasn’t really penetrating so I took a walk, came back and watched videos. not being productive was kind of bother me later.

In the evening I started doing Algos question and started to feel the ryhtym and wanted to do more.

In the standup I was paying the close attention to the conversation between ashok and konark.

In the evening I was doing yoga and I know some legs posture wasn’t good for me, but I was still atleast trying to do them. and thought about preksha were rotating.

While I was telling doctor to be on thursday morning I didn’t consider my timings.

This is what the current major challenge is, I am working hard, there is no doubt it. I also have knowledge and general map, and I am also constantly acting keeping in mind the best thing to do.

My focus and energies are the force that can bring anything in life. where to put these powerful asset are in the question.

Then there is a illusion of progress while just reading.

If you have a clear goal or clear code of conduct than it becomes clear where to put these energies.

I am experiencing all kind of me, Me who is afraid, me who is doubting, me who is descipline. me who is annotyed, me who is angry, me who lethargic. me who is concern, me who is tired, me who is failing, me who is judging, me who doesn’t want to push hard, me who is self conscious, me who wants to impress other, all kinds of me. easily believing me and doubting everything me.

Some me are productive and some me are counterproductive.

There is cause and effect relationship between different mes. If I take easy route than me becoming judging and then me becomes self defensive. If me stays on track in the strong winds of discomfort there is me of self respect.

I saw the guy paying more money and all the sudden I started to villanify them. A comparision with ray dalio went in head when he said he hired a hooker.

My health felt down, I decided to continue doing what I was doing.

I checked mail and reply to lin in the night.

I hardly did any meditation today although I sit through out the day.

A sense of different personality was coming in the view.

I was offered birthday wishes from different people in office, family and friends. some people like doctor or akshay maybe they were just talking but seeing with the pity about the doing surgary on b-day. again the same incident about saying something else and understanding somethingelse.

I took review today and gave ambigious reply for the manohar instead of taking decision right away which was demanding, I procastinating for the future. I can also do the task better actually.

In the surgey there was a moment when doctor asked which teeth you want to take out and I hesitated. After the surgery I was little bit unbalanced about what should I be doing and aimelessly clicked on youtube.

Even though after surgery and pain etc. I continued marching in decided direction.

I am getting focused, I read scripture everyday, I am not wasting time, I am getting better in terms of programming. Meditation I practice everyday, So do I practice yoga. My relationship with Lin is not bad, it is not great either. I am not engaged in much of the social activities.

Living in real life enforcing me to learn and grow. It is constantly giving me the reality check. Everyday I am learning from my experiences and growing, everyday in the evening I kind of give up all the things and or atleast try to, every morning I start again.

There are lot of changes that happened, I woke up everyday in the morning at 6. I haven’t even touched my penis in last I don’t know may be 3 months or more, I don’t care either.

By the end of this course I will be in good position in terms of programmer as well as finance.

Meditation practice is getting sharper, and frequent. the 3 days retreat...

I am reading all these books and listening to all these people, but I don’t have a system of beliefs where I say I am disagreed and this is my opnion on the subject.

I have good opnion on things that are important to me and there are things that are not important to me I have no so hight opinions.

When people disrespect something in my dream, I become agitated. How does other people know? they don’t really.

This is their guess based on their observation. this is their understanding. If they have spent more time and focus there, most likely their observation will be correct.

I am working to the clock, my days are fully engaged. The thing that is in question is that am I pushing in the right direction.

So how do I know I am utilising every moment and learning. and I am doing it in an optimal manner.

Life is going to be a prepetual lesson, I get to choose which lesson I want to learn. If because of conflict I became inactive I lost it. because of wind of voice I derailed I endup moving in wrong direction.

There are certain actions which leads to time waste and even negative spiral. Renounce them.

The only way really to work smart is to have clear priorities. what is important to you, what are the goals, than you can align your actions with them. having your know what matters is the key if you want to make the intentional decision.

When you are clear on your priorities then you can see what can maximize the leverage.

When you don’t know precisely what you...

I called tarun and asked for appointment and insisted on giving me a concrete time. It was snowball from his reaction on my question.

I was more mellow in today’s review.

I payed attention on standup, I noticed how sachin simply said the truth about poor situation in his batch.

Konark most likely played very nice trick of subconsciously saying you don’t have to take all the responsibilty.