I am in the position where I am getting more and more clear of my next step. It is to reset the mind with reality. swap the structure with belief based on reality.
Ofcourse there is two parts of it. one is to select new set of beliefs based on truth and reality and the second swap old beliefs and habits.
So let’s start with noting down the new ones and as it comes the old ones as well.
and then how do you internalised it effectively.
So in this week I will start working on some agreements. varfiy and revarify and make sure it is the truth and then put it into the practice. First do this and then this process is what I wanna comfortable with.
You need to write into your book of agreements, the deepest and core agreements, Instead of all of them start charting out the few core ones, which are true and you know is true, varifyable and know will stand the test of the time.
You also need to hot swap one of the thought in mind, so I am rebuilding and transforming. then you need to put it into the practice and make it your habit.
Consciously going through the process of knowledge to action and then the transformation of knowledge to other knowledge and influencing the action that way.
So the last week, I started to work hard from morning to night, to start the momentum. The place where I am in is, I am starting to see a lot of mental process and habits in my mind and in a way mind is nothing but the knowledge with the voice.
I can see clearly the different habits, and flaws in my approach, Different inherently flawed desires being stimulated in me.
Everything always has some intention behind them. I am clearly able to hot swap the knowledge.
You need to come up with the true principle and start practicing them. You need knowledge which can be extremely verifiable and then do it. Great thing is you can actually do it.
Your old habits are not powerful enough, you can decide to put your power behind some process and take away from others. It is so easy.
Everyday is a fresh start, an opportunity to practice your principles, to know more about your shortcoming, to grow more, To practice.
The amazing thing is you can dignose the problem with a lot of precision and the feedback loop is incredibly helpful.
Then you can start your day with knowing what principles are important and let go of the other stuff.
How do you make this choice, when do you make this choice. Based on what you will make this choice. You can just keep delaying it.
To make this decision, what makes it challenging is this is a lifetime level decision and it affects the freedom also. although not necessarly though.
Does marriage provides some kind of stability? The another thing is if other person is dependent on you.
See all this can only happen when you define your self first. Otherwise it is different desires coming and conflicting.
It seems to me the relationship with Lin is much better when I am in my substance, I am leaving early coming late, the time we spent together seems to be filled with love and laughter.
Few days back I was trying to please her by doing what she said and god she was judging me telling me so many issues with this and that. The testing.
There are some really good qualities about Lin, She by nature is homely person, likes to stay at home, take care of it. She is easy to be satisfied. and loves, laugh and smile. She feels bad when she does something which might affect her. She has a good heart and sharing attitude. She is independent and most of the time fun to be around. She is incedibley supportive as well.
She compromised a lot, not having sex to many other stuffs.
She has a low self esteem and get annoyed by not taking actions and what other people says, she did complete her course in...
It is clearly possible to hot swap the knowledge. See whatever the mind is saying is based on the previous experiences and how I interpreted them the net result is my mind is saying few things, I can choose to put my faith in it or I can choose to take my attention away from it. Even in the full noise of it I can continue working, I can also hot replace the beliefs.
There certain things which are only problematic. like a self judgement. there certain things which are beautiful I know this based on feeling.
So thing I need to do at this point is to create a new structure and belief and act according to it, make this based on the fact, experience and understanding. and then practice. it is not about yours and others but weather it is true and factual or not.
Today I was giving my standup and I told them that we are almost done with react and moving towards deployments. yesterday we covered the state and then first konark said that make sure you cover the list first. then akshay showed the impression of surprised, and shantu said there must be something fishy. And I feel a kind of fear in my heart, sensation of dropping.
The story I am telling myself is how I am right, I did because of the reason I wanna make sure everyone becomes profiencent, and then some thoughts related to busting them next time and so on.
One reason sometime I feel afraid of people’s judgement espeically in public. There could be many reason one of the prominent one is taking failure personally and trying to defend that image.
The another one is I had this old habit of becoming uncomfortable when people judge me in public and not being able to reply back.
There can...