So here is thing, as soon as you try something, you will pass or fail when I am failing the voice in my head is judging myself and telling me I am not good enough. All the things I am doing is being audited and fitered by it, everytime I am about to do something it is telling me to do it in a certain way. If I follow and fail then I am being judged. There is no point of justification in the process.

Both of these things are out of hands, nither I can select to choose what to say or do. nor I can stop the judgements.

I can understand what creates these and change that but I can not willfuly stop it.

Spirituality -

• Get into the momentum.
• Continue Vipassana
• Do your best throughout the day habit.

*Work- *

• Toptal.
• Running the course in mountblue.
• Options

Social -

• Right down the basic truth of the soical mechanics.
• The most core practices.
• Leading teams.

Health -

• Learning yoga poses more sincerely.
• Eating what my body loves.

The way of lethargy is not the way at all. Senseless actions are also not the way. Ideally, strong clarity and aligned actions with sense of purpose is the way but you can’t force yourself for that.

A lethargic way of life is an absolute mess. Having experienced it over and over again, If I do not take charge of the day, the end of the day is when you will have to pay the price of the lethargy.

Any thought, any skepticism is welcome as long as it is constructive and propelling you forward. You have to be a worrier in the sense of that you fight morning to evening then you utilize the experience to fight better next day.

Throughout the day there are many temptations if you give into them, you will have to face the consequences in the night.

So at the moment, I have the opportunity to manage a bunch of kids, keeping their best interest in mind.

Some are having hard time to work with each other, some are not serious about the life, some needs more management. Ofcoures some of their primary interest are not aligned with what is present.

The ambiguity is being taken advantage of. I am being afraid they will bomb in the real world.

The moment is giving me the opportunity to really learn to be a manager. My personal interest maybe not so much.

The voice is speaking nonsense, from morning to night. It is easy to get lost. The level changes quickly, and I need to adapt and take advantage of that level. The failure is being translated as lack of me, failures are the only way to learn and grow.

One of the key missing element is direction, in the lack of that, I am using other people’s actions to guide my direction.

This is all in the mind, the main character, the beliefs, the old experiences, I am feeling the same things I was feeling when I wrote that post about giving the directions in the stable times.

So essentially, You need to sit down and see through your mind, the way it works, and you have a lot of data as well, you need to go through that data, Then based on all this, you need to forge the clear direction.

One thing I can do though is to make the mind extremely quiet and understand its working.

There are different...

My father asked me today, where is your friend from? I hesitated then I replied, “He is from here only.” Now there is a self-judgment in my head, I shouldn’t lie. This judgment is very superficial.

I don’t want to deceive my parents. It is more of there are certain things I don’t want to share with them. I am comfortable sharing that I have a girlfriend in my company, among some people, I am even proud.

So the difference with my parents is there is a conflict in beliefs. For them, it is almost as if it is a sin and then they are very amateur in the sense that if something against their belief is about to happen they will lose their sleep.

The consequences of telling the truth, in this case, are huge.

What is my reasoning behind it? If I wanna explore whether marriage is a right fit for me or not, or what kind of partner I want, of course, this is the best way to go about it. Would...

Today I woke up at ease. I was slipping in the realm of erotica. I meditated, Came to the office. Wrote down know what matters. and read some of the voice of the knowledge. Then did morning talk with kids, I was little bit more angry and critic.

I did the punctuation part, then I listened to the surrender experiments. Went to lunch, Came back, did punctuation2. Replied to the mail of Lin, Daily checkins.

The auto part was confusing in the morning. There is another thought that was lingering about listening to other people seems like weak man’s job.

Then I am writing down this post.

First thing stay connected to what matters. what matters is profound understanding of mind and clarity based on it. Learn more about the beliefs, self, truth, awareness and how can you change these entities.

Then rebuilding the whole structure based on truth and optimal habits.

The second is you need to start taking care of your health. Yoga, food and rest, let your body recover.

Third you should complete that english course, and you need to think about work side, what is essential and what makes the most sense.

From relationship perspective you need to write down what have you learnt.

Process of building beliefs. How can I verify the truth behind the beliefs? and how can I practice it? Who am I?

Taking control. beliefs, desire, voice!

I woke up and lie down for some time. Came to office had breakfast by eatfit. Then I sit down and write down post about Human model and some more principles from gita. I didn’t put a lot of decerning thoughts and energy in that though.

I went through the english. did a course on AI and did a course on blokchains. I took the interview of that miland. In the stand up my mind was somewhat self critical. then I went to gujurati.

I did project review for all.