The thing with Lin is all the cards are open. I know her quiet deeply. And she loves me. There is a lot of effort we put together. And the bond is strong. There are going to be some challenges but they will be in all the relationships. The positive parts are there and negative parts are immutable. She is from china. And she has a poor health.

See if I find another person it is going to take some time to build the relationship. Just the fling thing I am absolutely not into. Neither I want that kind of sex nor I want time pass and drama.

So there are two decision that needs to be taken, one do I want to be in a relationship!! Do I just want serious relationship or considering marriage!!

Now Lin must have the priorities of her own. Maybe she does want marraige and child etc. if the priorities are not matching than you need to let her decide.

If the thing with Lin dosen’t workout. You...

Sharing attitude | Not self centred - Lin, (J), sixen
Desire | Avaliable | Attraction - Lin, Ritika.
Connection - Lin, J
Mature | independent | Non-needy - Lin, (J)
Physical appearance | Health - J. (Lin)

Match on major conflict - Lin
Simple | Honest | Homely - Lin
Desire to grow - Lin
Willingness to work on relationship - Lin
Age and nationality -

Lin is great in terms of sharing attitude, attraction and availability, mature and independent and non-needy. She is willing to work through the major conflicts. Has desire to grow, wants to work in relationship. Simple, honest and homely. On the other her appearance is not great. But she is good looking person. Her health below average. Age is older than me, and nationality is Chinese. She is 90% what I want and 10% what I am not looking for.

Akshada. Not very sharing atttidue, not extremely self cetnered but ambitious. The desire and...

The must haves.

• she should not be so self centred that she is not willing to even listen. Forget moving in other direction. This is not a permanent state but major outlook, of course when people are happy they would happy to even sacrifice. There was this girl in cuppa, with legs stretched. The fundamental makeup of the person should be of giving and co-creating. Lin is a good example
  • there should be a desire and availability in other person, when someone is already engaged or someone has no attraction, than there is desire missing in the first place. Maybe after a conversation there might be one. But there has to be attraction. When people are uncomfortable it is hard. The girl at snow line. Is perfect example of it. Sixen is perfect example of it.
  • connection. There is should be this resonance and common direction. Ritika vs Lin. That connection also makes other person respectful...

My heart is getting easily overwhelmed. There is no pull in the direction. The mind is by default renumaritign in the negative directions.

I want to lie down more in the bed. There is no strict guiding mechanism. I am kind of seeing myself in the light of maybe not failurer but not very confident and highly seeing myself. This is the underlying pervading sense.

Nonetheless I am keep moving in the direction. Maybe it is not very high velocity but the speed is there.

There is also a good sign that it is when usually breakthrough happens. When you stay and go through a bit of the pain. It does bring the clarity on different level.

There are certain qualities that you expect, some variables, the other person will match some, and won’t match some. You need to know the baseline qualities and the quality you can live without. Ofcourse the Same is going to happen with other person.

The other concept is perfect match. What would be the perfect match. It is the gradual uplifting of the qualities. But there can not be perfect match, perfect match.

The relationship is one thing, marriage is whole different game. And raising a child is the whole different arrangement and blocks and requires you to go in a different direction.

Do you want relationship only!!. Do you want a relationship which is moving in the direction of marriage!!. Would you consider a child in future!!

The restriction of freedom by imagining up having a child is scary at this point. Relationship I feel quiet sure of. But marriage I have no strong desire to be in. And all the drama that comes with it.

These are progressive stages, once you have mastered the relationship, than the question of marraige comes. When you have mastered the marriage than the question of child comes. It is possible to have marriage without child. It is possible to have deep relationship without marriage.

You got the whole package. There are going to be differences. And the attitude to deal with the differences.

There is insane matching up in me and Lin. But there are differences, and there are things like she is older than me, unhealthy etc.

Me and Preksha there are seveare differences. Drinking, Bussing up. She is a nice person too. But differences are quiet far. Her attitude is very compromising though.

Ritika, Rashi, it would be disaster to marry these people. Since it is complete opposite. And amateurishness would pull it in wrong direction.

There is going to be differences, and there is going to be some degree of sacrifices in relationship. You can decide what you want to tolerate and not.

I have been living alone from last one month and I can live by myself. It is not perticularly pleasent. But I think I can retrain my mind and be very happy. I can gradually let go attraction and need from that direction. And be by myself. If I really loose my hopes and expectation from relationship and sexual desires. I will have to retrain the mind and find my soul for happiness.

When I am in a relationship, how does it block me or enable me. There are many great people who got married and carried out what they carried out. Carnegie. Jonathan. Mickey, Sandeep, Ray.

Mahatma Gandhi got married opposite. and carried out.

I am in the relationship on and off with Lin for almost 1 year now. In that one year I get to know her more deeply and connection over time matured with experience of meeting, going out, making out, living together, sharing together.

It takes time to be comfortable and real around each other. It takes effort to ask for the date. Escalate it to the physical contact. Than living together. And deeper bond.

Sometime some people seems attractive form the top but as you know they turn out quiet different. Preksha.

Sometime people are just not available. Esabell.

Sometime the logistics, sixen. And it takes a lot of conscious effort to build the connection and trust, especially as it is not something obvious.

There are many girls in aayana, if I have to go further with Samshree, I first have to initiate the contact. And then take her out. And than talking on the mobile. And then escilating...

An ideal relationship should not put the load on other person at the same time should be uplifting in others dream.

The more tension and obligation there is the more emotional unease it is going to create. The more selfishness there is the more problem it will create.

I have some dreams like self realisation and I would wanna continue following them, the purpose etc. If she starts to demand the time that comes into the way of this. It will make me at unease, if she creates the env. Where I can do this at ease. And help her in her dreams as well.

This has to be rooted in the idea of other person happiness.