A desire for sex and intimacy is originated in subconious mind and it is very powerful, as compare to a calculated desire orginnated in intellegence. The base desires has kind of emotional component.
The survival, sex, loneliness, senses, habits, ego, defualt pain and attachments and aversions these are basic desires.
Serving, education, self understanding, purification these are kind of the intellectual desires and even require some degree of push.
Based on the source of desires, we can create different images or strategies to satisfy them.
A cafe that provide healthy food, peaceful env. And fluet music, decor that speak of spirituality is for one group. And a place with egoistic music, spicy and fired food, decor that speak of smoking and drinking is for another audience. Education vs entertainment.
A good image involve as many desires of a perticular group as possible.
There are some universal desires like desire of respect, which were mastered by amazon.
Around few minutes back I had conversation with on the phone. She started with oh who would take care of you, you have to eat outside, kind of feeling sorry for me. Then she launched brothers complain, they are bringing thier in laws in home. And then she launched, tune Naak Katwa di. Direct attack on respect.
She asked why you didn’t make the phone call, and then started to mock the exercise.
In return I started get angry and defend myself. Bhai mare ko Apne jindagi to jeene do. Then she started yelling more, hamne pata hota to padhate Nahi and all.
Now would a reasonable, rationale person thinks like that. She probably talked to someone today and they said something like your son my son etc. and she feel defeated and angry, then it came out with so much anger and once she was unsafe she started to protect herself by yelling.
There was an amazing act happened, in the middle of...
Even with the full pool we are often fail to convert ideas into action because.
Dialogue is not decision making. The beginning is risky because you have to create the saftey the end is dicey because you aren’t careful on how clarify the conclusion and decision flowing from your pool. You can run into violated expectation later on. This happen by either how are we going to decide? Are we ever going to decide?
DECIDE HOW TO DECIDE. Because every one is invited to share meaning doesn’t mean they are guaranteed to take part in making decision. Make it clear who will involved and why?
When the line of authority is clear. VP’s don’t ask employee for product lines, parent don’t ask child for curfew.
When the line of authority is unclear, all the party needs to get their meaning into the...
How to listen when others blow up or clam up.
You will work though your differences until all the parties freely add to the pool of meaning. That means people who are blowing up and claiming up to participate as well. Although you can not force but you can make it safe. Somehow other person believe if he or she speak up bad things will happen.
EXPLORE OTHERS PATH. Finding a way to let other know if is ok to share their path of action. Their fact and nasty story and ugly feeling.
START WITH HEART. GET READY TO LISTEN. When you invite others you must mean it. When you ask other to open up be prepared to listen.
Be curious, instead of respond in kind, be curious what’s behind the rucks. What kind of sorry they build up. It calls for genuine curosity at the time you might be feeling frustrated and angry. Mostly, the patient is reluctant to share her true opinion. Because she thinks if...
There is a kind of beautiful interdependence in the desires. One person can not accomplish the desire. The product need support in the form of other products.
Sandeep nailed it by images bazar. It doesn’t fulfill the stand alone desires but make small contribution in the form of larger goal.
Motionarray did the same for me. Crucial conversation did the same. Infect most of the product does not provide end to end solution but do its small work. There is also a large product that act as an assembly line.
senses - the five senses beautiful sites, food and drink, pleasent weather and touch. Music, and smell these creates the bhogas, especially short term.
respect and self importance - then there is desire of self importance and being treated fairly. Another almost similar one is having social respect or being praised and accepted. The other part is equally true as well.
desire of reproduction -. Porn, movies, appearance, all kind of fantasies. Masterbation, sex, courtship, all these desires
desire of survival - from butcher shop to billionaire. A delivery boy, everybody need some way for the survival. A closed desire is the desire of mastery.
desire to win - maybe rooted in acceptance but there is this desire to win.
desire for peace - there is desire for the relase form all the noise in the head.
desire for the family - there is a desire of belonging and family and friends.
...
The static position is not possible. And the default can be either boaring or painful. And it is the tendency of mind to start looking for the bhogas in that condition. An entertainment, hanging out with friends. A worthy goal. An interest. A book.
One is short term bhoga this will release from the current pain. A movie or tv show. Mom and dad cleaning or watching a tv show. Bhai and prachi creating YouTube videos. Lin cooking. Me watching YouTube video. Hanging out with friends. Etc. walasker masterbating. A new year party.
Then there are long term aspirations. My need of clarity and liberation. Bussiness. A career in programming. Mastery in programming. A project like ashayine. A desire to understand soemthing, crucial conversation. YouTube channel for Bhai. Being classy for Anurag. Purpose for sandeep. This is a sustained desire.
What makes my tree of importance knowledge of spiriutality and communication and Anurag’s tree classiness. Bhai’s photography and car. Akhil’s intellectual, Lin’s Health. Walaskers bitcoin. J’s marraige. Dhapola Marraige. Ashish singing. For some peoples it is game. For some it is traveling. For some education. For some volunteering. For sometime staying in Dharamshala. For some playing.
My own personal tree of importance changed over the years. Once it used to be playing cricket. Then programming. Living outside of India. Meditation. Social mastery. Yoga. Bussiness..
You somehow got introduced. Then you selectively consumed the info that supports it. Then there are certain products or services that provides the infrastructure. Then you go the next level or you move out.
These are the bhogs. And there are two component of this. One is the life blood that supports the dream itself...
Today I went to lalbagh. and I ordered the bhel chaat. She replied 30. Then she didn’t put any chutney and made 2 and said, ok pay 20 only. Her communication has a bit unclear. She was replying not so well. I ordered and then I kind of feel cheated, they way she mixed with hand I also didn’t like that. I felt a bit resentment and I wanted to leave that without finsihing.
It was a bussiness, I needed something and see was a provider. I ask the price and she replied. That is point of negotiation. If you feel unsure about the price, you should have either bargin or try another vendor.
The product she sold was for rupee 30. And jumbo size. I didn’t needed a jumbo size I could have asked if she provide half.
Once the bussiness was confirmed. She provided rather low quality product. There was no clause about quality in agreement. You could withhold paying money, or make sure the quality is...