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How to stay in dialogue, when you are angry, scared and hurt.
HE MADE ME MAD, some people tend to react more explosively and you your self sometime take verbal blow without battling the eyes and sometime go ballistic when someone even look at sideways. You make you made and scared. And when the emotions runs high either they master you or you master them.
Maria felt humiliated and angry because she thought Louise downplay her. She donesn’t want to appear oversenstive to most of the time she said nothing. But manage to assert herself occasionally getting in sarcastic jabs.
EMOTIONS. The worst in dialogue fall into the Maria trap, she is unaware that she is making a dangerous assumption. In her mind she is justified and accurate. Her emotions are acting on her. The worst in the dialogue fall hostage of their emotions and they don’t even know it. The good realise if they don’t control...
cultivaitng heart and mind - do the matri, learn lojong, meditate 4 immusrable. Read books, the idea is to purify your heart and water the seed of compassion and dangers of self centeredness.
everyday opportunity - there are appreciable people who are moving towards nobel motives, bhai working on YouTube, shantu on himself. These are gold mines, don’t miss them, help with resource or encourage them. It requires near no none sacrifice and genuinely help other person and purify your heart. And then extend your circle to more hard people.
serving in ashayine and vipassana - they are place for preliminary practice of compassion, the system is there so it is relatively easy to practice. Peoples are generally applicable, and the needs are there. Since my tree of compassion is not very big these opportunities can sincerely help me in the early stages. The needs are not desperate, and can be...
I went to Ayana, and I was unsure about how long I want to take that package, I come to the conclusion that I want to take 2000rs package. There was no receptionist so ask the teacher to do it. She did but than cradit card is not there problem arised. I said I will pay next time. I didn’t have cash.
Now lin came and offered me that she can pay for me. The other girl was little bit uncomfortable seeing me with Lin. I said no I will pay with card, lin insisted and I said no I will pay by card.
Coming out, now I feel at unease.
I am dealing in the trasction and other person offered the help. I can deny the help or take it. Ideally I would like to handle my transaction one to one with the person I am dealing. Otherwise now I have to deal with the third party.
But this is the difference scenario as lin and me are in relationship it is more of a unit. I could land her a hand and use hers...
How to make it safe to talk about Almost anything.
Step out make it safe then step back. Yovene exited because she focused on what Jotham was saying. She would have spotted the use of sarcasm as form of silence. Intead of adding to pool of concern, he took a potshot. Why? Because he is not feeling safe using dialogue.
The worse will totally ignore the need of safety and say whatever in their mind. Or conclude topic is completely unsafe and move to silence. The good understand the need of safety and try to solve it in wrong way, by watering down or dressing up the content. And the real problem never get fixed. The best plays no game. They don’t sugarcoat, pretend or fake. So they completely step out and come back.
Notice which condition is at risk.
MUTUAL PURPOSE, the entrance condition. In order for this person to deliver the delicate message you must have believed he cares about...
Relationship and communication is another place where people are stuggling and I can genuinely help.
Meditation and spiriutality is also another place where I can help.
I can serve at old homes and other volunteering places.
I can also help friends and family in my circle to help them grow in any way possible.
The need of student wether he acknowledge or not is career and survival. First getting the job and than getting the right track. With the very limited understanding and no guidance they are making one of the biggest decision of their life. This is very important need.
I have zero self interest in this. If I don’t market or anything I can make sure that this is perfect Dana. And my skill puts me in very strong position to help them.
This require a little bit hustle and preparation from my side. But it is very doable and could be very helpful for some people. It is fairly advance in terms of other option.
This is completely internal work, and could be entry level practice or practice companion.
It is not solving anyone’s problem but it will help me cultivate good heart. it is nurturing the seed.
The need is practicing self cultivation and some people coming to the contact of the path of spiriutality like in tushita I did.
It will present the consistent challange for your own practice. Or sacrifice your practice for the well being of others.
Last time when I served I struggled, People are generally respectful but they can also be disturbed. They ask you to beg to people which will certainly wash your ego.
This require 10 days commitment. The process is easy since you just have to serve. It is relatively good place to practice compassion.