When an event happens, and I experienced an affliction, generally strong sensation. Now the first thing I am doing that I started to protect myself.

If someone else did something I started to justify that as well.

yesterday some kids sit and I didn’t felt good. So I moved out. Now for around next 1 hours, I justified how that action was appropriate, another thing Once I am done this and that, it will not occur again. There was judgment, out of balance experience together.

It is like someone is blamed and start to prove I am not guilty.

Just at the moment, “There was judgment, out of balance experience together.” I think of something and then I try to rationalize it to come up to the same result. Instead of seeing the experience as it is.

Belief | desire | ( experience ) affliction | trying to convince.

Desire — looking for that | affliction | trying to fix the reality.

Anger, hatred, lust, such are the affliction. Sometimes it is because of natural [ fear ], most of the time it is because of some desire.

All the affliction has very strong sensation. It has such a force that it takes a a lot to just sit down through it, but I have done it. [ prachi’s case]

I wanted to be respected, prachi’s talk to me in wrong tone, and strong agitation arised in me, it totally loose the thinking strieght. It can not be handled at the same time. There is a strong urge to correct other person.

Same with the lust, the desire to be in a certain way has such a force that I checked images, which is something I haven’t done in ages.

So is with the fear, if I don’t know in advance, I am going to be paralyzed. The sensasbilty is out of door. The reality is totally tilted.

At the time dance it stayed for a month, I really didn’t want that to happen, at the time of prachi’s...

Memory is the left over of the experience. Some experience wasn’t pleasant [ Alex wedding ], most of the unpleasant memories are rejections, some experiences were very pleasent [ kissing Lin | 36 question with J. ] acceptance, some experiences were nutral [ talking to grandma ]

Another layer of unpleasant situations are directionlessness, confusion, hustle, bored, they feel extremely unpleasant at the moment, but I do not seems to renumerate in those experiences.there are planning though.

The intensity of experience is decided by physical sensation, if the sensation is strong, it is going to become memory.

The desire is to impress others is underlying cause.

Fixing the memories, imagining are two constant source of chatter from the voice.

There are indigested experience and fully digest. Something didn’t match the belief and now fixing it with rationalizing and judging. On the...

VOICE -

• No empty space.
• When uncontrolled voice, stop reacting, accept it, see its nature, cause, and see if you can influence it.
• Do chitanupasana, until you are fully aware of this uncontrolled voice.

CLARITY -

• Know in which phase of domain you are, [ understanding, goals, execution, data. ], what is the conducive env. And expectation for each.
• See where you are in each block, how much resistance and force you can expect.
• draw the energy from confusion and calibrated step.

*BELIEF - *

• Go in from judgement to take the inventory of beliefs.
• Observe I am right belief | see how you can resolve it.
• Override belief using reading.
• Inject new belief using repeated experience.

Spiritual - recalibration.

• get the clear bird eye view based experiential level and current level.
• long range goal
• next calibrated goal.
• refine | modify | create daily practice.

Health -

• yoga TTC.
  • hip and forward bend.
  • backbend and twist.

Social - recalibration

• get the clear bird eye view based experiential level and current level.
• long range goal
• next calibrated goal.
• refine | modify | create daily practice.

Work -

• none.

Wake up at 6:30 precise. Do 30min. Yoga. 1 hr mediation. Bath..

There are two goals this week. Spritual recalibration and YOGA TTC. Once complete spritual recalibration then go for social calibration. And meditation.

8- 11:30

11:30 - 12:30

12:30 - 4:30

4:30 - 6:30

6:30 - 8:30.

One time you can go for a cafe and have soup.

Last week I did 2 hours of yoga practice in the evening, and completed the standing pose of the book. I went through around 17 poses actually in fairly great detail, and has some good degree of anotomy understanding of hip area, legs.

There is one strange thing that I might have over stretched some leg muscles.

Reading and practicing at the same time was very beneficial. But only reading was not that helpful. 2hr of practice seems to be good.

The first calibrated is to go through all the pose in functional anatomy, it gives good understanding of overall pose, muscle understanding and how to go deep in each pose, this is building a good foundation.

Complete all the pose in these series.

• go through Iyenger and refine the poses.
• sequencing | alignment | video.
• sencond coat.

The goal here is to have solid grasp on fundamental poses and sequencing. Ultimately building a morning...

There are different elements voice, emotions, memory, will tec. Get the clear experiential understanding of them, as they are coming.

Continue vipassana practice and satipathan.

• The goal is get the clear view of the place you are seeing from, your current understanding and get the bird eye view, consider the long range game, and the nature of reality.
• Build the long term goal.
• Create the clear next calibrated step.
• Refine modify and create daily | monthly practices.
• Build any experiment if require.

Spiritual field | long range | short range | daily practice.

Move to rakkar, to dharamkot, to Heeru. There is a agitated part in mind which is calming down.

spiritual -

• maintain the practice of vipassana.
• started the process of recalibration.
• Spritual recalibration
  • voice
  • clarity
  • belief
  • desire
  • awareness
  • ego
  • reading
  • energy
  • self-expression
  • emotions
  • will
  • vipassana | affirmation.
• drawing satipathan sutta.

health - there was little over stretch in the leg.

• ±2 hr yoga learning in the evening, and 1hr practice in the morning.
• concepts
  • antagonist
  • muscle isolation
  • co-activation
  • facilitated stretch.
  • bandha yoga.
• pose
  • tadasana
  • utasana
  • tree
  • hasta panda.
  • utkata
  • tikonasana
  • warrior2
  • parsva
  • half moon
  • parvotasana
  • warriror 1
  • warrior 3
  • parvitta tikona
  • parvita parsva
  • parvita half moon
  • parasia paddotasana
  • gaurdsana.
  • supported sethu.

social -

• how to win friend
• I met few people but fairly avoid much interaction.

work -

• n...

When there is agenda and desires. in the moment things start to move by itself, no effort. and time collapses. a conversation with J. reaveendra, kissing lin.

I can also totally absorb into the work | meditation. I can also be absorbed in movies.

there is an automatic response some people I feel comfortable to talk to [ taxi ] and some people averse me [ moda ]

complete lost of ego, leads to intense experience of self. this can not be created but only trusted.

there is no sense of time and completely present in the moment. self security required here. the experience is superior, ofcourse voice try to recreate it.

people like michel singer and mahatma gandhi puts their whole life on this trust that they will be shown the way.

there is another external element like ananda and Lin present themself without me trying much hard and somehow very much perfect than I could search for...