Uncentered.

Last few days I was off with my health. And I understand I am recovering. And I am on some medication which also contribute in physiology and psychology.

I am completely off with my routine. No meditaion, yoga, no clear goals. Kind of unanchored there. Completely unanchored in the chaos of new place.

The energy of the place has also some effect on me. It is somewhat negative and depressing. And there is also not the harmony of family. The connection is not perticularly adding but also drawing and because I am with the family I am loosing some degree of control and independence.

And then there is unclarity of what should I do in terms of vipassna.

There is weakness, unachrodness, confusion and soical challanges. And they are all impermanent. Matter of days and situation will be completely appoiste.

The most stupid thing is to contemplate on the alternative and major...

The very foundation of a good relationship is the love. Is the state of not doing work out of abligation. Not this sense of irritation. The conflicts are inevitable. Expectations and challanges are inavitable too. Especially when you didn’t really choose your family.

Every challange will help you to grow if you are willing to stand up.

There are four family memeber in your house. And you must need to clearly understand the daynamics here. Understand what is an optimal scenario in each case. How can I make my part best. And how to resolve the conflicts.

Than comes the second scenario when there is intercommunication.

All relationship has these scenarios -

• controlling other person.
• controlling the play.
• not serving me.
• not playing my game.

An ideal relationship - in an ideal relationship no one control each other, but understands each other. Support each other when other person...

There is a kind of indecision, in the family. Mom and dad wants to come here to meet me I guess. Bhai and parchi seems ok. But they are all looking for me to make a decision. How do I make such decision.

Then mom has her own problem right, she can hardly compromise and severaly test and accuse me. She is going to throw a lot of emotional poison around.

What is the purpose of get together in family. Is to love each other, to make sure other knows we are here for you to support. What it is not is to blame and control and demand from each other.

Before you can lead make sure you understand what is a perfect relationship, so if things go sideways you know what is happening, just fighting and shouting and formality is simply not the right reason to meet. It is only going to detoreate the relationship.

But How do I know this, by thinking and asking question.

So what should I do now ? You...

A leader always lead, weather he is sick or confused or having a personal crisis. It is the job of the leader. People look at him for assurance, as a rock, in anticipation, people test him to feel more secure, these test help him to grow and audit his capacity.

Ofcourse all he can do is his best, and his best is not going to be perfect, sometime not even good enough. Sometime dead wrong. What leader has is his values, understanding and clarity. And humility to make a choice, take an action and take a responsiblity, even if he is not feeling sure. He can not not take actions. It is against his nature.

What if he is wrong, taking responsiblity is not enough, a leader make an appropriate attempt to correct it if it is correctable.

A leader simply can not hide behind the curtaines of excuses. I am not feeling good, I will act when I am healthy, I will decide when that happen. If so he is...

contribution -

• marketing management.
• skillshare course on how to give a negative feedback.

sprituality -

• the arrangements for moving from here.
• meditations on bhagwat gita and Tao the ching.

Connections -

• appearance upgrade.
• flourishing relationship with family.
• dipping in stream.

Health -

• Take advantage of any opportunity to learn cooking,
• carefully recover.

I start communication with strangers, and she responded positively and it was a good action, because in a way I get to learn other peoples dream and it was filling my emotional tank, also it lighten up the mood.

Than the interesting thing happened, the instructor innocently asked me do you only come to Friday, an invitation, that took me by surprise, now I am zero percent into her. But she was cute.

That made me conscious about how I am performing in front of her. In a way i care about her approval, before I somewhat not so much. and my steps were not aligned. A natural response. Which I let go after some time. The struggle there showed it was a nice pratice.

I think energy of the place is also quite comptetive and self-conscious.

Just like that keep being natural and organic. And be yourself. Keep making small communication to the people nearby you.

She had a dream, in her dream I am in a certain way. I have a dream, in my dream she is in a certain way. In reality I am different person and she is different.

She tries to fit me in her image of me. What is her image? I don’t know. But in her dream, she is very unhappy in general and has habit of blaming the rest of the chacters, including me.

When I do something which is not inline with her dream. Not getting married, job, going to Delhi, going for meditation. It triggers a strong fear in her. And she become very aggrasive. In that aggression she starts to verbally blame me. Ask me to justify my behaviour, ask me to explain. With no intention of communication but to prove me wrong. Dominate me in a sense. A logical explanation is useless as it triggers more fear in her. She can’t afford to be wrong. As soon as there is an argument on behaviour, she jumps on the charcter. If there...

There was no weining from my side. I know I was there to have fun, learn, fill my emotional tank and flourish the companion and romantic relationship. And I am not in hurry,

my communication and confidence are really strong. And my realisation of abundance is getting strong.

I talked with girl next to me, and she was very interested, but she was not the kind of person I would go. I just sit have good time and smiled at everyone.

I liked the gym girl yesterday mainly out of appearance. I found she was very actively pursuing the mate dance, or maybe it is just my assumption but I kind of felt jealous. Here is the thing. In the world of billions other peoples are apperanetly also looking for mates. It is not expected but good. For a second I was judging and than let go. There is abundance. And there is nothing wrong with a person who is talking to others even if they are in relation...

Contribution -

• the current strategy.
• sp. knowledge required.
• resource to get that knowledge.
• start building product + start acquiring sp. knowledge.

spiritulaity -

• Jim carter.
• Voice of knowledge.

Connection -

• the mastery of love.
• the relation with mom.
• the practice of blossoming relation in stream.

Health -

Contribution -

• Recenterd the manifesto | stream | goals.
• Researched sea change| the power of body | altMBA + Why discovery | ZLT.
• Contemplated different tracks.
• core | process | next step.
• assertiveness course | outline of syllabus.
• The two tracks - material + business [ marketing + sell ]/
• Read ZLT mails | startup course.

** Connections -**

• Recenterd the manifesto | stream | goal of 5 companion and a romantic relation.
• The comapnion relation and then relationship with hrishi post.
• A beautiful dream.
• blossoming the relationship from stream.
• relationship with mom.
• yoga retreat.
• mastery of love.

spirtuality -

• Receneterd the manifesto | streams | goals
• the bucket check.
• the ritual audit.
• the movement from bangalore execution .
• going deeper with toltec wisdom.
• being aware of getting outside of centre.

Health -

• Recentered the manifesto | streams | goals.
• allowed body to...