More often than not I witness this scenarios. A group of people gather together to have a good time, they talk about all kind of superficial topics and there are always few people in that group, painfully trying to participate in the conversation or just sitting silently and periodically getting this look from other people “ what’s wrong with you”. I was one of those guy.

I never had this need to talk so much and I always find superficial talks meaningless or duplicite. I didn’t really understood how can someone enjoy this so much. On the other hand I totally lit up when I have conversation where subjects are personal and authentic but it seems to me the larger the group are more superficial talks becomes.

Lately I am finding there are two broeder category of people. people who are figuring out life, questioning, engaging, experimenting. They are usually confused and uncertain about...

last morning I was sitting in the dinning table at my hostel and a girl came in front of me, I begin the conversation with so you gonna order indian food. and the conversation carried no I am alergic. but I want to taste somosa and … than came the dude, sam I guess, this guy is amazing. do you have internet, can you look time in perth. I like perth …. for 5 minute, a same kind of closing body language display by girl. but than she starts to open up, oh I think travel should make you better man but I am just fucking and drinking. I have been to all these places… have you been to bandra do you wanna go, i am going to tonight, you can have your soda…

this guy is fake as hell. but interestingly he had the girl by night. he is also quite inconsiderate about other people. and also leading these man around the table. owning frame. quite interesting isn’t it.

yesterday i joined a conversation on table, a guy dunked if not drugged was leading the conversation, I am jurk, slap me, my tinder girlfriend, hongkong, finance is the backbone of the soicety, fucked up, slap me. drunk. but very confident. the other guy was acting as supporting actor or a listener. this guy just won’t shut up. being philosophical, realist and everything in between. so you what you do, i am construction engineer. do you like your job, ya it sometime kind of good bad. you are too good for mechanics and for, you study 5 years. good good. wait a min. ya i have whole night here. and I am a jerk. so I have a date on tinder in 3 min. wow, she initiated it

the guy asked me so u are on tinder. and that guy will not stop his blubering , now i will shut up and put some song. …. you know I grew up poor. he sexual frusted. I have to wait to speak so I won’t hurt him. out of...

yesterday I was sitting in the table where talk was happening. I watched a bit conversation, although it is always nice to open as soon as you can. these people were drinking bear and they are talking about the problems of the world.

the guy from canada sort of leading the conversation and talking most of the time. the swedish was supporting him. I get bore, I don’t make promises anymore, got fined in burma ( I entered the conversation here ) my sikh friend. the gandhi, ( I inserted my opnion here. ) than slipped into conversation with guy on right about what he does. and he explain in a great detail, how he works in liquor store. and have once a year travel for 2 months and than he had to save money but went cheaper, south east asia. than I turn to right, so how you are planning to stay here, I am going to the wedding, have you attended indian wedding before, …. as long as you dance it...

this week was quite a week, I shifted to mumbai. joined actor prepare. and man did I enjoy that. I was sleeping at sameers house. not really great sleep, but ya. I learnt a tremendous amount. an emotional roller coster, I took the process on the chin with a smiling face. I spent a lot of time to understand what is happening but it was overwhelming. drew rational male. wrote my first medium post. pretty good response. infield progress is an amazing. from that introduction, to still image, daynamic image, group play. oh the group play. finally I moved to this hostel. lets see how it goes here.

I am sitting in the middle of a group of people and I fall back to my old familiar behavior. my mind is sort of blank and as the time is being passed. I am getting a bit more comfortable. fundamentally there is only 2 things. flowing the conversation, and state of mind. and ofcourse the frame.

you know it is high risk environment when you practice in real time. practically you are playing table tennis with good players while beginning, infect you are playing with everyone. and it could be quite frustrating or even somewhat humiliating, and than again sometime it will be surprisingly pleasant. than you learn quick move on fuseball table and a newbie look at you in the awe, sometime but this is the time you learn quickest. actually this is the only way to learn.

this is what I want you to do right now, open minimum 5 people, and your goal is simply talk to them for 2 minute, record and...

so there is this confident stud with tatoo on his arm. and strong body. infect he is also most practiced guy in the room. last day he was very confident, the performance. the momentum. today he slipped a bit in dancing. now he is insecure. everything he is saying he is unsure about. if somebody neg him a bit more, he will be stuttering.

this happens with me a lot as well. so may be I said something, made a comment that didn’t comeout right. now I am more self conscious and things I am saying now will be tinted with this insecurity. how can you quickly recover or what should I do in these scenarios.

a task has been given. you have to perform a show where use all the character are in relationship and improving. now I begin with suggesting we should do a tourist, the other guy that collage student now said school ka karte hain. now other guys are jumping, I am hit. slowly slowly every one, lets do this, that and I am shifting sideways. what the hell is wrong.

now I am attempting to ask several time, but voice is so week, gesture is closed, I am giving vibe that I am not somebody who matters, there is no power, there is no demand of respect.

now the crowd is again very childish sort. can’t see further. can’t respect others or whatever but you clearly need more authority in your posture and tone. you need to learn to call these childs out.

it is like back to collage days, where this group talk all the non sense. and if you are attending anything in india, this would be the case...

rapport - when things get emotional with somebody. any strong emotion is fundamentally rapport. the commonality in this is what can build potential connection. did you see anurag light up with mentioning of social daynamics, elvine want to stay as much as possible, although very shy otherwise, without rapport there is no intemacy. and deep connection.
rapport is how you build deep association, the deeper it is, quickly more familiar it will get. one common sense thing is in rapport emotional intensity has to match or surpass. you can not just say I do it, this is anti-repport. rapport with bounce is clearly the recipe of high comfort. the more shallow the conversation is, the lesser is the possibility of repport. this is the common scenario in group conversation.

disqualify - the initial conversation is basically a pointer to decide wether to move further or disqualify other person...

the idea was you are sitting in a bus stop, and you have to communicate your profession and character without shouting out. so I moved into set as an old baba from haridwar. as I moved sit down now I am projecting the baba, but didn’t know his character. and I got blocked. It didn’t come in my mind what to say. now there was kind of idea that I would try to con them with this idea of aura and rashi, but it didn’t come out of my month. first I lost the frame than I got very unsure, where to insert it. forget the character. the only thing was if I could say what is your rashi. oh and I forget all the linking principle. but ultimately character matters. otherwise it was just reactive toy.

I am struggling but I am not really justifying it.

some people were doing it greatly. there were this foreigner mob and restaurant guy, but also that drunk guy, boodha baba, insurance guy, and improv...