I started this month a bit of luck and got this place rakkar, the burning area at the bigenning of the month was this whole social riddle. and pyschology of the outer feild. I had no clue what other people are doing and why and how are they happy, making all these friends. than I had this riddle about relationship, manuplative people and all the spectrum. my mental health and self esteem was also suffering wounds from the time of dubai.

I read enough books to understand the fundamentals of transactions and relationship. I don’t have a plan still and I don’t think I can make a plan like that. I need the real world observation and develop my recognition faculty for that.

as far far the process goes I read books first week, read more books second week, started to sketch out these books in third week. start to fiddle around with the idea of starting something like fight medicority and...

I usually wake up in the morning around 8. fresh till 8:30. I do a meditation for 40 min. and lets say at 10 I am up for work

do 1:30 gatka of work.

than you do 30min. break

12:1 another gatka of work

than you take 2hour of break.

3- 4:30 another gatka

5:6 last gatka.

go hang out with friends/ girlfriend/ family/ party.

9-10 - meditate. refactor restart

a gatka preference -

• pop out from action pipeline.
• if you know clearly what to do, do that.
• if you have elements to think about and contemplate write a blog post on that
  • if you are completely unsure/ read a book or sketch out one.

i don’t know how I either lost or forget to write spiritual sunday 54 post. I started to sketch out these books. with somewhat half baked metainsight idea that I will create these animated review like fight mediocrity. it also therotically help me to cross the thresold of social understanding. yet nothing really changed I only get the idea how things are that way and how can i praticpate, this sort of open up a space which was occpupied by this riddle. an idea of project step up. I watched some interview of people like chris, hony, rayan, neil, you know kind of get carried away if you dont know what you are doing. last couple of days were spent on truind trek, I was kind of feeling lonely. read four agreement. there is clear disbalance in understanding and practicing. I think this is the time should thinking of project house january goal.

spiritual sanity - i was in overall pretty good...

I have half formulated ideas on what to start and where.

the skelton - what I care the most at this moment, is to grow. in the direction of self improvment. personally getting over my limiting beliefs. expanding myself. turning the transaction anxiety into excietment. cultivating my social skill. building a rock solid self esteem. anchoring yourself internally. reach the point where mind is suggesting +vely. beacause clearly as I grow myself from ego. the expression itself changes.

the ritual - it is impractical to anchor yourself on anything half formed or experimental. the only possible thing I can anchor myself is ritual. speically when goal is the cleansing.

the project - it is somewhat clear to me the project has to be something like fight mediocrity but I am not really sure what it is. see this is not for other people and make money, but it can be soo powerful to change your...

I am seeing these people like humans of New York, fight mediocrity, Jonathan field, …… and how they integrated their quest in a project. and it is getting bit more clear to me what I should be doing now.

the thing is I just don’t want to to copy these people neither it is an inspirational nor it is something I can connect to.

what I don’t know is the exact blueprint of what should I be doing. somehow listening to these people who has done something along the line seems like right thing to do at the moment.

see the habits are not going to change by themself. and then wether you want or not you will buffer through. to optimize life you need to have a ritual, along with sort of refactoring process. until your context itself changes,

I don’t think you can really optimize life by working 24/7 on it. although it can be counterproductive. what you need is you will knowingly not choose wrong decision. if you know what is right and wrong it sort of teaching the baby inisde you what is right and wrong. not really morally or something that sound good. but based on what you know.

the second thing you need is a project. something that you do. something that you create. something that you bring to the world. something that express you, challange you and hopefully help other people as well. may be even earn some money which allow you to explore even more, but I don’t really know what it is. and I...

clarity alone is not enough and it will not change anything. even when you understand something. your intuations are going to be old. change can only happen through refactoring your intuation, sort of telling and teaching the mind what is right and what is wrong. and it has to be persistent.

what you need a strong sense of value system based on reality and your understanding of the world. a code of conduct. a way of life. this is what the clarity is all about.

what you don’t want is to buffer through life. waste away these days. don’t just go back and forth on the same thing. don’t sabotage yourself.

leave the perfection and bring the humility. and be rutheless on changing when you know something is wrong.

a realistic understanding of your ability, an uncanny attitude to live a life worth living. never choosing the wrong in the moment of awareness. a consciously lived life.

I have crossed the thresold of social understanding at least theoretically. and I am in quite balanced state at the moment. my mind is calm, body is healthy, and the social scenarios starting to make sense. one of the best possible thing I can do right now is integrate all this together in coherent daily ritual.

now it leaves me in the place where main part of my day is freed up.

a part of me is feeling very excited about starting a youtube channel about book reviews. and than slowly take it to interview and further. it can actually support me financially, challange me socially and spritually. I do feel quite entusiastically for it.

what other things I can do right now, where I grow myself spiritually, soically and physically.

isn’t it when you don’t understand there are so many branches but when it start to make sense there are few.

there is few things I would like to learn when it comes to social intellegence. it will make my life easy, fun and productive.

social valve - man or women. you should be able to go through the valve. the one end is ego and other is buddha. you don’t have to be interested everyone for example ofcouse talk with dhyana was way more interersting than talk with ghai for example. but you should be able to ton yourself down on the same ego level as the person in front of you. didn’t mean you will start lying. but it’s useless and counter productive to talk about libration and what not. you have to learn to go from superficial to in depth. the best way to do it is stop and see what games and past time are being played on different level. some time it will happen that person infont...

I think I have enough information at this point to identify and solve my social conflicts. and obviously something needs to be shift now. just reading and meditating is not going to solve issues. what I need here is a well tought out action plan. a game.

first of all what I need to do is diagnose the whole social graph and respective categories. you need to have very clear pain point and quesitions. and most probably you will find the keystone points. and sort of a path to navigate through this. you can also prioritize your approach with sort of incremantal actionplan.

this has to be done first and than I can narrow my focus on those point in prioritize fashion.

on the flip side I think reading more will help me. specially certain books like boundries. and this idea of creating book review is also circling in my head. I am not sure if it is the right time for video thingy. you need to...