in a nutshell this is what I am trying to do. building a short of mental map of reality. the clear problem is mind is seeing it’s own thing and it is very flawed, and if I have a very clear idea what the reality is as per my experiecnce, a model something that must be deliberate and can be wrong. and can be updated regularly.

to start with first you need to build a base model. ofcourse it will not be perfect, but it is the bigiening of a guiding model. and than every book, every meditation and every experince must contribute to this.

reading thinking fast and slow is propsing a pretty good and foundational base model. it is short of lightning some area of the map. once I have this. I have something to judge angainst my actions. and add on it. update on it. see where is the most darkness. what else could be more important, intersting and fruitful.

reading more book, doing more...

intuitive heuristic -

intuition is nothing more than recognition. valid intuition developed when experts have learned to recognition familiar elements in new situations. the angular essence of this, is when we faced with hard question ( should i invest in his stock ), we end up answering the easy one ( do I like him )

the characters -

system 1 - the unconscious, uncontrolled, impulsive monkey mind.
system 2 - the sane and lazy mind.

system 1 continuously generate suggestion for system 2, impression intiuation, impression and feeling. if endoresed by system 2, impression and intiuition turns into beliefs.

both are drawing from the same pool of attention. most of the time what you say is originated from system 1, and usually system 2 has the last word.

system 1 makes systamatic errors like it can not be turned off.

for arrow example, you must learn to mistrust the intuations...

I clearly know what I would be doing this month. on the physical and spiritual domain it is crystal clear. in social domain I know the area I need to work upon. so how should I go about it !!

spirituality - morning and evening meditations (2-24/20 ) are perfect. keep including kriya yoga pracitce as you are doing right now. after lunch 1 gatka 40-60min I can read book of either raja yoga or becoming veg.

health - be little more cautious for cold. install chew 30-32 habit.

social - a morning analytical meditation is great to keep you clear on what are my current goals. so the one approach can be to read book and than use that lense to see your current challanges. this will help you to see blind spots as well. I think this approach would be amazing spically for first week. it will give more data point to play with and help you see common ground in terms of mind. so in the day you read...

being healthy is fundamental requirement, it just elevate the mileage itself. and if I am not really healthy it kind of start taking anxious mental space, unnecessary and poisonous.

living in hills physical aspect of exercise is being taken care. one great thing I must do is, installing the habit of eating the food right way in right amount. chewing it properly. and finally I can read becoming veg. book. nothing more.

another aspect would be to treat your cold while you are here. just a bit care will do it.

just chew food with patience and read a book on what to eat.

the motivation here is to understand things analytically, to have a stand on several underlooked soical aspect. and gain better and better mental health and moving up in the direction of sattva. what I am not looking for right now is the realising nature of reality, emptiness.

doing these monthly retreats seems to be very helpful. the current scedual that I am following is more like 1 samatha and 1 analytical meditation in the morning and evening and seems balanced. also I am finding this place much more meditation friendly.

beside practicing, experimenting with kriya yoga is the only other thing I need to consider, reading the 2 books I already have and slowly adding paranayama and kriyas into the practice.

that’s all for this month.

a bubbling thought is should I book vippasanna retreat for next month. I thiink I should book it because even if I am still in between my clearity on...

I have a place to meditate, study, solitude and it is just perfect. I can start focusing project house december.

I have foggy clearity of what I want to do this month. lets make it concrete first. I need to contemplate on what and why of all three domains first. get your motivation clear than decide the end point, for this short duration make the goal very clear. even if takes some buffer time, do it. beacuse I will be following the same template.

the second step is you have to meditate on it, every morning make sure you are not really engaging in any distraction. and you are very clear what you have to do today.

I think I have a pretty good mental and physical health, I believe I also have a place to stay for this month in the valleyes of rakkar. and I also somewhat know what I have to do. reading and meditating ( analytical )are the 2 major things i would like to do this month in sort of solitude. one of the thing I want to come to a conclusion is clear social and relational standing. there are a lot of things I want to read as well. I don’t really have to make any move. just step back and understand, although I need to have a sort of daily ritual. I will leave this place when I have solve this riddle of social mind and correct stand.

crux of these weeks were tushita retreat. in those 10 days I believe I was able to step up a bit in all the directions. the major insight was to see moving up and down in the thresold of the ego realm. and the point where I was compassionately disgust of the amaturish ways of ego. these 10 days passed really fast.

spiritual sanity - I think there was big boost in this area. I somewhat feel like I am in quite healthy state or fairly sane at this point. I also like the idea of analytical meditation. I also felt the mantra sort of meditation, a little bit of introduction to tantra. read some question answer in some books. it was great two week in this domain.

social - I ( was able to ) watch more closesly what was happening around me. the place from where these question were being asked by other and me. in the group discussion I was able to see sometime the subtext. i was watching more...

vippasanna and tushita is closed till feb end. and soon enough rest of the cafe would be close. so dharamkot doesn’t seems like a place to stay more.

what I currently need is a place where I can read and meditate and clear my head. a less sort of stimulus enviornment. although a sangha sort of would be fine. what I don’t want is a group of extroverted pretence.

from the options I have, ghoomkad seems like a decent option. another option could be bangalore. bodhi zendo could be a good one. places like mumbai and goa doesn’t seems to fit. I can also try root institute in bodhgaya but this might be a bit expensive.

so bodhi zendo is already full. ghoomkad wasn’t really hitting the note either. I can stay at this place a bit more but sooner or later I will have to move. tomorrow I might search for places and than decide.

i feel like I am in a healthy mental and physical state. I am also in the mood of putting some solid effort. what I am lacking is clarity. I have all the time in the world. there is no hurry. but there is an urgency.

what you need right now is to meditate on some tuff question. you can stay here for a week at least. you can surely read more. there is only one little problem. you might have to move from this place soon. and you need a place to stay. a place where you can continue your meditations and reading.
there is a lot to be understand meditatively and what you don’t need right now is a lot of stimulus and experiences, they are more of the distraction at the moment.

what you need is a place where you can read and meditate, occasionally hang out with the people, for around the month.