I am living in ananda from last 4 days. reading, meditating and structuring the fragmented thoughts. and I think I would be here for next 7-8 days. or until I figure something else. although things are flowing in a pretty good conjuction, It would be better to give a clear channel to what I would like to attain here ( i think this in itself was pretty good goal ). even though it is very intutive, putting the clear words on it smash the confusion. and allow to use these scattered energy more effectively.

I am most excited about reading these days ( but this is also an endless process ). it gives me a sense of progress. it is also very effective as a constant stream.

I think the most important thing is to do would be clearify your domains and their goal clearly ( whatever you can see ). this is a demanding exercise, and expect a bit of effort here. but this is clearly first priority.

...

this is by far the most important piece. and I want to be very specific about what it is meant for me and what is my strategy to achieve and establish myself into it.

by spritual sanity I mean, you are calm enough to see things without tinting with prejudice. and choose an appropriate action.

thresold - the point where I need to stop doing other stuff and start dedicating full time to elevate myself here. when I am getting more and more confused, and ego is powerful enough to control me. constantly I am finding problem of my life is because of other peoples. despising and competing with other people. this is the time seclude yourself and elevate your energies.

the band - this is the time when I can see the play of emotions, desire and afflictions. and I might not feel good. and even confused but I can see the reasons and able to chooes. this is the time I can continue solving other...

the domains are these pieces of puzzles I want to solve at this period of time. these chunks fascinates me. and hidden in these pieces are seeds.

spiritual sanity - a calm, composed mind which is established in this realm of the reality. what else could be more important than this. I believe this is the foundation of everything else.

soical reality - another aspect that facinates me is this contact or collison of this energy. and how it plays out what are the strategy other people use to deal with it. power ! and seeing the why behind it clearly. establish yourself here firmly. another important thing here is the intergender relationship. this is another subconcious blocker for me.

physical health - learn more about the food you eat. how much, how well and how often you eat. and what is the sweet spot. make sure you get this part iteratively right. understand the foundation of...

the most important thing is clearly the calmness of mind as it dictate the experience it self. and there is no doubt in my mind or heart this is the number 1 priority. than there is this aspect of reality in terms of construct like thoughts, feeling, emotions. and I think it could be observe with calm mind. this is something I feel very excited about and looks somewhat doable. inherent in this, is the idea of renunciation. the more I understand these construct the more I am able to get out of there grip and let them go.

than there is this idea of unitative consiousness. or the god. the ultimate natuer of reality, this seems the spiritual nucleas. but neither looking for it excites me, nor it seems like it can be looked for directly.

what make sense to me is to calm your mind and esatiblish yourself in the reality of this realm. and this seems to me an appropriate and desirable...

the most resonable way to live life seems like choose your flakes and roll them and with time they will become snowball. the thought that was lingering in my mind while I was taking a walk. to create a system with priority levels and than you have somewhat idea of what to do everyday.

domain - there has to be a set of domains with priority attached to them. although priority would be daynamic. but it needs to be clear what it is at the moment.

the place - based on the priority the place has to be furtile.

serendipity - and ofcourse if heart makes a call. we follow.

After spending couple of days here in ananda. near nature, some meditation and good food. I think I am recovering. I also met dharana who is a nice guy and taught me baby kriya technique.

I think at this point I am sane enough to take some control of my life from autopoliate mode it is running on. I can regulate a routine or direction to move.

one of the thing I like to do is to look back on the post of last years and see the flow of my life. there are several books I would like to read. maybe go for hiking while I am here. know your question, know your blocker, know avaliable paths and ofcourse open to serendipity.

write your mind out.

In ananda and I feel, I can breath now. this week was again more of logistics one. I attended sandeep session which was interesting experince. I was reading snowball a bit. met with avinash, akhil, hrishi, raveendra, celebrate prachi’s bday. a lot of shopping. there was strong money drain.

spirituality - I was meditating poorly.

work - a lot of logistics.

health - no exercise, eating whatever I could get my hand on.

family - a lot of family time with brother and I felt a bit of rebellioness with my parents. listening a lot of time they are changing.

there is no point in writing a new life description and guiding principles and all. but there is basic law of nature. compounding. the snow you are rolling will soon become snowball. wether you want or not. and I need to start rolling the ball. and I need to start doing this today. the affliction oriented default is only taking me to the downword direction. there are certain snowball that has grown out of proportion

there is this war between being in tamas and rajas phase periodically. and often I take refuge in being in tamas and will do things when I will reach rajas. then I force myself for a while and than come back again. this is clearly not right strategy.

choose your snowball carefully and start rolling them. there isn’t going to be a time where you will be ready. or reach that state. it has to be done in slow patience mode. and gradually rolling it everyday. and stop rolling...

this state of mind when things are very sticky. and hopelessely pulling me towards them. I can see how everybody is causing me pain. protacting my self image from me and other. things are uncertain. peoples are projecting happyness. and I am out of touch. shouting inside and outside. there is this emotional feeling which feels like I am walking in hot summer day for hours. I somewhat feels like there is no hope in anything. in book, in this, in that. there is only direct expericne. unlike now I really don’t have any rope. or anything to lean towards.

last week or so from dubai to delhi to pune, time is moving really fast and I can hardly keep up. let aside thinking and other stuff. I am somewhat in the position of put black into white. a lot of logistic work is being done ( fixing computer, new phone number, buying clothes and stuff, meeting people… ). the money drain was exceptionally high. definitely not in samatha. infect this is the first time I am sitting down and in postion to think, write and plan something. there is last couple of things which I will complete in couple of days. and than you are free as a wind.

but this was expected. changing your whole life in a week is going to be a bit of needle.

so coming back to real world. what I should I be doing after couple of days. the one thing I must need is a reset week. close all the connection. stop. and let it sink what have just happened. go through your old post. see the...