So this is becoming one of major priority at the moment. I want to be clear at why I care about it ?

If I look back or see my current situation so much of unnecessary suffering is coming from being naive in this area. So much of the energy is spent on trying to cover it up. And I am missing so much in the life because of it. And then it is such s primitive skill. That anything external will be fundamentally be a social thing. For example job. The contact is fairly unavoidable like oxigin.

And what I really mean by social skills?
I am not alone in the world. And humans are predators. I am actually sharing my life with them, Clearly understand there is a game or dynamics happening in between here. Clearly understand the game. Clear your expectation. Understand this game throughly. Walk the world without being Carried away by it. This is the biggest challenge. You really don’t have a...

i am moving to the end of this chapter. And I have very limited time here in Dubai. I am sort of on fence from a while. But that can not go further from here. One of these two things has to happen here either take advantage of being here in Dubai. Do the things that I can not do in India or hit the preparatory cycle of the next thing.

Let’s see my priority, health and the bandwidth at the moment.

On the priority the top most is understanding the social structure. And dealing with incompetency in it. The second thought that usually cross my mind is not being able to see the landscape itself. And using this as a denial At the face of complete unknown ahead.

The progress trap is the biggest trick of the mind. And confusion is the major weapon. Always know the question and direction. Even if it is a gross question that is fine. But know the question. Random actions are useless.

...

At the end of the next week. I will be putting my exit. And will live in Dubai for next 5-6 week at best. At best I know what I will do after this, is to go to kodaikanal. And spent some time in bodhi zen.

I am at the junction in my life where job, money, startup all these things have no pull for me. It seems like filler. A shallow attempt worthy of pity. Although I can see some missing qualities in myself. And those are the minds anchors. And these are the thing most probably I will learn and work upon. Things I am afraid of. more primitive skill like communication.

Beyond that I can not see much. For now all I can do is just show my spirit.

I am lost again. I am not really sure what exactly is my stand. All kind of affliction are riding the web. I just don’t know what exactly I am doing.

Few days back I was diagnosing my social skill blind spots. I was basically wanted to create an action plan on it. Do you think it is still a goal worth pursuing. Yes indeed.

The second thing is the quality of mind is poor. In the sense that it is not really qualitatively calm and composed. And waking up early exercise and meditation would be very helpful in this case. But the problem is I have very limited time. And I can understand this thing very well. But I guess this is where you just have to show grit. And just shove it off for 5 weeks. And man that feels the best.

From past 2 years, I had very strong belief the right way of life is a way of compassion. and there is this perspective starts to emerge. that every one is suffering and their stupidity is making this suffering spiral. and right way to look at this would be to look at them with compassion or atleast this is what I learnt from the monasteries. and you should stop them out of compassion if they try to hurt you or anyone else. this is quite an idealistic point of view.

the problem is do you have enough power to actually stop them. or the situation is like chicken and man. it doesn’t matter what chicken think, or the way to see the humans. they just don’t have the power to stop injustice against them. however we like to see, the ugly face of society is there. compassion without power is helpless prey.

don’t get fool with the vanilla display of society. by default everyone is playing...

peoples are not as they appear. the nature of human is duplicitous. they same something else and practice entirely something else. they talk from conscious and act from subconscious. and most of the peoples are completely unaware of this conditioning. humans are animal but they will prefer to think themselves as angel .

there is a common agreement that I was fail to see before. it is not what you do but what you say you do, consider somewhat true. as long as you can explain in courteous manner and pretend innocent the slaughterhouse is fine. this is an important thing to understand the most important thing is to play the game. even for the person in power suppose to do it. so others can justify their fear.

so the guy who can call the bluff has the power to play with the self esteem of others. If you can understand the conflict in person in front of you. you hold the insane power. this...

an important individual and group dynamics. offer more and extract less. this is what they call being smooth. although frame is quite important here. and this is specially important in the beginning. it is interesting that how naturally it is counter intuitive because of the fear.

the very concrete example of this is to lead. imagine we all want to decide where to go for food. and as normal nobody is sure, this is the time. it has multiple fold advantage. first you added value while other subtracting it. than leadership has an authority charisma in itself. now you are the guy with most subconscious power in the situation.

the second example could be, nobody is talking and this is a perfect opportunity to own the frame. you are the traveler who has more story and context than you. there is always knowledge to offer which can stimulate others. and they are playing in your frame.

...

the clock is ticking. another week has been passed. for this week, I would prefer to write more and more about my observation and understanding of mechanics in human interactions. office and cafe is the playground. because the nature of writing is to penetrate deeper.

interesting week. I read rational male, also I tried to read 48 laws of power. and assertiveness workbook. focused externally. I wanna read more and more about this subject. it is becoming like. ahh now I understand. I saw the crack on people’s mask. my own behavior is not changed but I am painfully being more aware of it. although I can see small small changes, like why should I not eat at desk. waking late, sleeping late.

spirituality - meditation is becoming poor and poor. focused more and more towards social field. which is a good thing. becoming more aware of external field. also quite exhausted with job routine and weather. and not having control over my own time. took a day off this week.

work - work seems good. I started to work primarily as server side developer. which was kind of fun.

health - really poor last night I did 1 max30 exercise. but otherwise the whole week was...

This book had some interesting observations. specially regarding female imperatives. the argument is social design is evolve in a way that is insanely optimized for the women’s and mans should be considered privileged to play the part in it. they call it a matrix. may be because women are so good at playing the pretend game innocently in a courteous manner.

the idea that just being women itself put them in the place of the prize. they don’t have to do anything. and it should be considered an honor for man if they choose them. this doesn’t sound like a fair game. because of this so obvious agreement women can choose between many man. shit test them. cheat them and it will be considered ok. because they are in-charge ( ofcourse they have to do it in innocently in a courteous manner. ) but a man even flirting while in a pseudo relationship would be considered extremely wrong ( because they...