This is the real killer in the social game, because it actually blocks the intellectual brain itself. it doesn’t matter how much you know, If you can’t access it. so why it comes at the first place and how much control I have over it !

it is a subconscious thing, so I actually have zero direct control over it. but it kind of connect directly to my self respect. If I am feeling low self esteem the same situation provoke much more anxiety. it is also clearly a biological misfiring of flight response. so automatically the better I understand the situation subconsciously and more self esteem I have, it automatically reduces.

it also connected to uncertainty and health. so once you start to get familiar with certain situations. it automatically subsided.

it is also a hot emotion, which kind of misbalance the internal harmony and than start to fade. so it is actually worse in the...

Q - the red flags of not exercising and meditating properly is going full blown. what should I do ?

the importance of them are out of question so why exactly I am not doing it.

for not exercising, one reason is I don’t have enough time. but I do watch youtube for 3-4 hours in the night. and that is not really a good experience either. the second thing I am waking up really late in the morning, and there is no question of exercising at the time I actually wake up. than I also tell myself I am walking 30 mins or so everyday. isn’t that enough. the last thing I lost the momentum. so it needs a bit of the push.

I think it would be nice idea to wake up at 7:00 and exercise. but If i miss than I can do in the evening. this thing has to done with a bit of the push for atleast this week.

also in the meditation, I need to be pushy for this week. so I can gain momentum with 30/40.

these...

** A thought of going through my previous posts (~250). look through the data analyze the trend. **

the only problem is time and objectivity of attentions. I need a qualitative attention to analyze it. I will not suggest to do it now at least thoroughly. If I want I can glance it out. that should be enough.

one of the major element of power is frame. the guy who owns the frame in conversation, naturally dominates. and the problem with nice guy like me is they offer their frame in conversation so easily. they think it should be genuine. they got played the man.

it also comes from the place of not hurting other. but foolishly thinking it in a binary format. and somehow it is easy to do for people like me. something about avoiding conflict. most of the time it is a denial of a rookie.

there are few situations I face regularly. one is a group of people I know. another is one to one with a new person. and occasionally I am the new guy in whole group.

*one to one with known people - * not every conversation is about power game. like dev, luci. but owning a frame is different thing. it is more about bringing the another person into your world. but than again there are some people who will...

Q I am not really sure, what should I do, the goal is not clear, attempt doesn’t carry emotional element. although I do have a vague goal to be good at social skill.

this is exactly what I should do in this situation. step back, ask question and make sure you know what you are doing. so why exactly I am so interested in social dynamics ? it is very evidently affecting quality of my life. this is actually a huge blocker as well as aspiration. not having the skill and understanding is promoting all kind of denials. but is there anything more important to do than this ? it feels like an extension and application of self knowledge. although a thought of being trapped in this mental mirage linger every now and then. how would you know if that is true ? I think it becomes painfully obvious if it is a trap. after walking a little further. fair enough.

how you handling the challenge ? have you...

lost again, not really sure, what are the goals, parameters and why. there are several belief conflicts happening internally. so why not I take a step back and read what exactly I have done in past year or so. some patterns. and realign current goal. get some clarity.

there is direct co-relation between experience and intention. and it is quite naturally easy to pollute the intention. specially the education around social dynamics is very powerful. and has a natural tendency to raise ego. be aware of the cons. and hindsight of ego. the emotional turmoil it generates. don’t necessarily block the ego. just keep an eye on the intention. and experience the whole sphere. don’t deny and justify any part but observe the whole experience.

again in the progress trap. so few weeks back I started to focus on the social thing. at some point I thought it would be a great idea to study the subject and educate myself. and I engage in the process and put it in the priority X. no exercise is justified. I read book after book. they were pulling me. so far so good.

the problem occur when I lost the question itself. why I was doing it !! and is it helping me to solve that. instead it start to become like running. there is sort of rush in it. but that trek has been lost. and running is taking me further from the road itself. emotion and feeling has taken the driving seat. this deceptive illusion of progress is very dangerous.

the another interestingly harmful thing is I am fusing myself with the content I am reading. like this book is part of me. trying to defend verses and observation of author. agreeing without questioning, even...

I have been played around with society, concepts, feminism and morals so long and was so naive to see that. I have been robbed, rapped and slapped socially because of my naivety. just be yourself. defenseless, helpless in the grip of false belief. ho subtle and amazing are the threat of non existing reality.

as I read and understand more about the social dynamics. a rage and hope is bubbling up. it is so clear to me what I need to master here. there is no other skill more important than social intelligence.

so the countdown begins. I need to know more clearly. what exactly to do each week to maximize my contextual growth while I am still in dubai. the theme of this week needs to be, educating myself in social dynamics. but how can test these theory in terms of experiential level.

taking a big step without setting the mainframe properly will not be a smart idea. I think I should start more with observing this dynamics on company level. can you deconstruct what you are seeing. on your as well as other behavior. are these social theories like authority charisma, or passive- aggressive behavior taking place on your immediate surrounding. observe as much as you can. continue reading and educating yourself.

on the other hand I want to workout 3 days a week. a good workout in the morning.

a sample day of the week -

wake up 7. exercise and meditate till 8. have and leave home by 8:20. sit...