so these decided this task, and I am the main actor. and I am asking other people what to do. I am asking them to tell me how to perform. talk about loosing the frame.

ask people what to do and you killed the main point of going to this class. imagine what you have to do, visualize it. visualize it the most ridiculous way. and perform it. and go through that crippling anxiety, and you have achieved what you came for.

hide, be safe and you missed the whole target. show us some heart. keep yourself centered.

our acting instructor divided group with 5-6 member in each group. and gave a task create a drama scene. people talking like kids, this is what we do, no question. just an impatience sort of not listening to other people. in a group. how does one handle that. in this group you have to make yourself heard or leave.

understand they are doing this unconsciously and what exactly is happening inside their head, are they very excited, are they very nervous. is their identity on the stake. and also there is no clear group leader and in the absence of this they are trying to establish dominance.

clearly peoples ego is invested heavily, they want to win and have affection.

generally you don’t want to be in this kind of group. but let’s run an experiment next time when you find yourself in this group. raise your voice. stop them. give them approval, establish yourself authoritatively, and stop...

so in a tense situation, you start to take things personally. you start to stiff. and than you realize ahh I slipped. this is the moment to laugh on your mind and the ways of it. a humorous pattern. a person who can laugh on himself. also comment on your attempt of struggle when you are really trying.

this is always funny. and sort of relieving.

get out of the compliance shell and own your thoughts. for example talk with zostel foreigner people,

scenario - ridiculing. basically saying your thoughts and belief are stupid. understand you didn’t really challenge their stance. but they are just saying it about your beliefs.

this is the clear violation of boundaries and you have to call them out, every time. start with gesture. wtf. don’t sit and node your head and laugh. no even if you have to break the flow break it ( clarify your stance or situation ). now at this point other person should get the idea not to toy with boundary. but if he took it on his ego, and said something even more mean. learn to exert some power. frame has to be correct. one good tactics is become fully logical in a emotional situation and ask them to clarify their stance.

the other scenario is the example when you in the attempt to build rapport said...

yesterday I went through several scenarios and lets break them down and see if you have solution.

the conversation -

open -

there could only be 2 scenarios- either existential reality is expected to talk ( like a meetup / party after retreat ) or intruding ( like 2 people talking in a cafe ).

scenario -1
in a new group of people you can open a person, with situational opener, location/occasion, or opinion opener. the very law of reciprocity demand other person to reply. try to keep the pressure low.

e.g.

• this place looks pretty cool.
• are you from mumbai !!
• have you done acting before !!
• let me ask you this, what is the rent is like here in mumbai.

size up -
from the first answer acutely notice, how comfortable this person is talking to another person, how open or close this person is, if the person is close either because of nervousness or societal conditioning to avoid...

this is one of the most interesting opportunity, and I better take full advantage of this. before anything set your frame and purpose.

this was interesting. so when I talked to the receptionist. she was sort of mechanic and closed. than I was the first guy in the room. walking the room. few people enter the room. I shaked hand talked. people were much more nervous than me. nobody is talking to anyone else. I started to talk one guy. so what you do I said, he probably set it first, the guy runs a restaurant. and was somewhat not very much into talking, he was probably closing the sentence much faster. but his rowdy frame wasn’t clicking with me at all. I exit not so smooth. and moved in sit between to guys. so are you from mumbai ( a location / ocassion ) opener. are you nervous is the question coming from that guy. nervous not really the great conversationalist. I talked with this...

so last week I was in rishikesh. zostel, had chat with few people. specially with some indian girls, it was interesting. than I had chat with some iceland people and california guy, a bit of egositc and shows me my compliant nature. played card with some other guys, attended one yoga dropin class. I read mystery methods. draw conversation tactics and improv. also get pulled in NLP thing. at the end of the week I was getting a bit depressed. I decided to come to mumbai and now into the actor prepare. meditation practices are continued.

a week before got sick and depressed a bit. probably i was reading some books. playing table tennis. went for shopping brought bag and than moved to rishikesh

so I am pretty much spending all the time understanding and working on social aspect. and I am not going to leave it in the middle. and in reality there are 3 component I am interested in. and they intersect social and spiritual sections.

information - reading book and getting more information is clearly one of the most fun part, but at the same time it is endless. and it is not the real learning, but it is the foundation for sure.

practice - I am in conversation everyday, what I need is to think, understand and execute the portion of the knowledge.

state - learn the element of state. learn to work with them.

and ofcoure find a yoga place to constantly grow your self in all the direction.

in rishikesh, yesterday it dawns on me, it’s been 4 months since I left namshi. what the hell I am doing. is it producing any result. am I moving forward. do I know where to go. or I am just running in circles. and not really getting anywhere. I am not feeling strong pull towards anything. I am more of pushing myself to do stuff ( know that you are writing it in the state of mild confused depression ). what you see is all there is.

sometime I get scared the pace with which life is passing, I will die soon. everything that I don’t have is causing me desperation for that thing.

I want to get into relationship. but than there is a part of me which pulls me back.

all the books I am reading is useless. unless go through that struggling period of practice and you know exactly how it feels.

this is the state I am talking about. the very thing I am doing right now is utter waste of limited...

never from this point in my life, I will choose to go to sleep awarely, I know my limits. and than there is time when I am not sure what I am doing, I am confused, in fog, can’t see clearly and it induces this state where everything is dark, dull, I don’t want to solve, I don’t even want to look at that direction. I kind of depressing state, and I am lost in that. is there some sort of fun or what in that. all I have to do is to chose to not be in that state.

it doesn’t control me, it has no power. it is the state of indecision. snap back out of it as soon as you are aware. do something, you have actionpipeline, anything would be better from that. learn, play.

so how can I snap back from this state, mind that it is not the state of tiredness ( where you might need some rest ) or state of loneliness. no sir, it is the state of dying. it also kind of tells me you need to switch lane...