I ridiculed Bikram because he didn’t do my work. Mom and dad quiet often do that to me. I rediculed prachi because she wan’t making it fun for me to stay at her place.

I praised and up the brothers you tube channel because that will make him feel good. These are fake praising.

I appreciate J when she liked me and demanded that I should meet her. I started to ridicule her when she makes some mean comment.

I didn’t like prabeesh. I like Greshan. Because the difference in the way they think.

I like anmol for his pleasent personality. I like Philipo because of his pleasent personality. Geshan i also like because these people are reliable people, playing no games. And has some degree of character. They are also considerate of other people.

If the criteria change they all will look like fools.

There were times when people were acting for the approval of other, Somya was doing that in...

The most disrespectful moments: The Dubai airport.
The most respectful scene: Freelancing.
The most praised: Hrishi admiring, Lin writing letters to me.
The ridicule: me on Alex wedding.

If someone I like or want to impress says something positive about me, a thumbs up or comment. Man I enjoy that. If someone I don’t like appreciates me it makes me annoyed.

When I did something which is not high on my own cretirea and when I see that being posted on my name, it creates the heart sink.

When someone disrespect me it makes me feel angry. I have a need that other person should respect me.

I gave Akhil a feedback that he needs to improve in those area. And then I tried to paste it up by saying hey zeal should be on the top.

I liked when vishwesh said wow I liked your creation, kind of get annoyed when Ashish said qyamat. When get closed when people laughed on my dance.

Hrishi...

setup -
listen to the sound around. And then focus on the area that touch the back and the earth. Couple of deep breath and be aware of the whole body.

right arm : right thumb, right palm, back of the palm. Wrist, lower arm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder, arm pit. Left arm.

right leg : waist, hip, thigh kneecap, calf, ankle, heel, soul, upper foot, right toe.. left leg.

back : right shoulde blade, left shoulder blade, right hip, left hip, spine.

front : top the head, forehead, both side of head, right eyebrow, left, right eyelid, left, right eye, left, right ear, left, right cheek, left, nose, tip of nose, upper lip, lower lip, chin, throat, right chest, left, middle, navel, abdominal.

the whole body: right hand, left, together, right leg, left, together
back, front, together, head, body together…

Breath: natural, navel, 27-1. Chest 27-1, throat 27-1.

There is a clear sensations, and it is automatic. There is a certain nature of it. I see someone and it triggers and passes right away. It is like a signal what is fine with me, what is not etc.

Most of things that I am doing are basically in a way making sure that the wrong kind of emotions do not triggers.

Before certain situations used to trigger it really bad like the time in tushita, the same situation do not trigger it that much. So it is not static but a changeable property.

It is just a signal not something to avoid or protect. The second thing that it might be possible that somethings will keep triggering this signal over and over for the whole life, like an animal near you.

This unbalance the mind for a little bit of the time.

The good thing is I don’t renumrate on these anymore.

If I know what I want in a situation it can easily be subordinate.

The emotions are...

We can’t go determined to fix everyone else. Asking others to be accountable for their actions lives and die on the words people choose and the way people dilever them. Those words and perticularly the way they are dilvererd lives and die in what people think before they open their mouth. They make sure they are conversing about the right problem. And their facts, stories and emotions help them to see other person as human rather than villain.

CHOOSE WHAT AND IF
———-
How to know what conversation to hold and if you should choose to hold it.

CHOOSING WHAT :
When problems come in to complicated bundle and they often do it is not always easy to know which problem to address. For example as my father talk to me rudely I need to know which problem I want to discuss. That he is forcing me, being weak, making insane kind of dreams.

SIGN that You are dealing with wrong kind of problem.

If...

I can still remember vividly the way that waiter at satyam avoided me by first looking up and down and then disrespecting by not bringing the water. I asked him to bring the water because of the issue of respect, ofcourse I can go and take it myself.

There are two fold in the story, direct disrespect and the emotion it conjure up. And then dealing with it.

The truth is the problem is in him. He is a minor and smoking and working in a cafe, not studying, it is creating this issue. And he is bad mouthing other or disgusted by other

What if he really think I am stupid. How does it make the difference.

I can not think stright when the emotions comes.

The sign is I do not understand how to handle insulting behaviour.

The second thing in reality he needs guidance. And his life is much much harder than yours. This is kind of defense system he has built.

It was just a sign that you...

STEPPING UP TO VOLIATED EXPECTATION:
When people actually cut the line in front, no body spoke not a single person. You have to put someone life’s in danger before innocent observer speaks.

IT’S MATH THING:
If hold accountable physician can become annoyed, even offended, Haven knows that incurring the wrath of physician. Plus there is a chance that disease will not passed away so easily, than maybe doctor actually did wash the hands.

THE SILENT MAJORITY:
People don’t speak up to individual who are voliating a promise, breaking a commitment, behaving badly, or otherwise not living up to expectation. 74 people died because of fear of not brining up because it looks too forceful.

DEALING WITH DISPOINTMENT:
Subject explaining they don’t want to act like the jerk whom they observed bluntly dealing with line cutter. They had no desire to behave like a thug, nor they want ugly confrontation...

Form some people who’s attention I want it matterd more, from some people I even dislike it. Because of the association.

Ashish jagtap vs nishant hivarkar.

I also find upward movement from seeing Preksha likes it since I value her attention more.

I like the appraise from Alex and didn’t like it from bikul.

I also try to hide any embarssing post from the past.

Looking myself trying really hard to flash my point of view, Dubai and comments, by heart is contracting to see it.

As I was seeing those picture I practically I want to make myself away. These things I don’t want to associate myself with now.

Strong sense of disassociation from the past where I did something stupid.

The heart get tight in the anticipation and then it goes hallow or backward, or there is a hit and surge of upward movement.

It feels good when someone like your facebook post, like an addict you check it every second. How many likes, how many comments. It feels very good when someone appreciate what you did.

Sometime people also share negative comments. Reject. It doesn’t feel good.

When you make mistake and post it. Like skydiving. There is a dropping sensation.

People has their own version of reality. Based on that they judge themself and others ofcourse including me. I judge and advice Akhil based on my understanding of meditation. He does me based on astrology. It is hopeless to superimpose it on each other.

If I dress nicely anurag will be impressed, he can praise me or be offended both are kind of same, the bottom line is it is affected because it is in his belief system. And that is the origin of respect or praise.

If I do something for example order a lot of food at common ground she would be respectful. In a way do what other person wants. If not disrespectful.

Hrishi was very Praisful and respectful when he see me doing something he consider high. The girl was disrespectful when she was told I am not eating York of the egg.

People can get offened by just knowing you are not following their custom. You can avoid that by not stirring...