Work -

• Find and apply to write positions.
• Write daily at least one app.
• React+TypeScript/ Node/ Serverless.
• Interviews.

Relationship -

• Consolidate all the learning.
• Lower mind | Meeting together.
• (Next) Sharing and serving

Mind and sprirtuality-

• Learning to handle the mind and heart. Things will hit you, there will be tantrums and you let go. And stay in the self.
• Morning 20 mins of Astavakra. 40 mins of Meditation. 5Mins of metta. Every mediation should be solid.
• Evening 20 mins of Bhagawad Gita. 40 mins of Meditation. 5Mins of metta Every mediation should be solid.
• 3 Times/week Micky.

Health -

• 3 times a week yoga class.

Quote of the day
One who can endure the pain and pleasure is ready for liberation - Bhagavad Gita.

Afternoon

Behavior/Cognition -

• I did affirmation before sleeping and after waking up about mastering the lower self.
• Morning I wake up at 5.
• 1 hr Meditation on coming back to breathe and sensations instead of listening to the mind.
• There were weak urges, there was no action regarding sexual perversion, mindless wandering, food binging, or lethargy ( I took 30 mins rest and slept around 8 )
• The mind was clean

Positive aspect -
My commitment feels stronger. and I also feel very energetic, confident, and fresh, my conversation with Lin was tented with passion but coming out of the place of affection.

Learning -
I felt excited about CBT and the marketing course. I felt bored by the computer course, as the instructor was poorly prepared. And that created the urge for mind-wandering...

Night

Behaviour /Cognition:

• In the afternoon when I wake up I had a great opportunity as strong sexual fantasies arise, It feels very seductive and pleasurable, and difficult to not engage in it. After engaging in it for short time, I was able to disengage. The urge was strong. Also I believe I did small mind wandering
  • These sexual fantasies again played periodically and similiar behaviour after engaging for a while disengage.
  • There was basic agitation of mind while I was decided to meditate in the afternoon. I went out took a walk and try again. After a while mind falled into a peaceful focused state.
  • I talked to Akhil, and Lin in the night, balanced. No strong urge, although out of habit I was touching myself while talking to Lin.

Positive Aspects:
Because I knew that I am working on the lower energies, I didn’t allow to multiply any urges, sometimes when I don’t have that...

Morning

Behaviour -

• Morning I wake up at 4 and then I lied down out of habit from last few weeks till 5:30 although I was fresh
• I did morning affirmation when I wake up.
• I meditate for 1 hr. with practising constantly coming back to breathe and awareness of sensation.
  • While talking to Lin, I felt aroused and touching myself.

Cognitive -

• There were some useless thoughts and sexual fantasies which were pleasurable and there is a default tendency to engage in them. They also seem to be triggered after a difficult job or stressful conversation.

Learning -
I can easily behaviorally imporve by waking up early and abstaining from sexual activities. There was no problem with food binging and mindless wandering

For the cognitive aspect, the opportunity to practice letting go of the sweet poisonous process will come again, This is subtle to relax and let go but not to suppress...

Case Formulation:

There is a lower self, which can be classified with the following activities, sexual perversion, mindless wandering, food binging, and lethargy. If I engage in them they drag me down. I lost inspiration, direction, clarity. My physical health and relationship come in danger. I lose confidence and my self-worth becomes low. I become cruel and then the world which is very impersonal becomes personal and I feel like fish who has taken the bait.

The challenge is that these impulses are by default strong, If I do not master them they naturally start to manifest as action and pulling me down. They become addictive. Also, this is the biggest hindrance to self-realization.

On the other hand, If I can master them, I gain clarity and inspiration, I can do what I believe is right. I feel directed and confident, my relationship and health become stronger. I feel great about...

Day one overwhelmed, day to great effort.

There are 4 gates that I need to let go of. so I am very clear what needs to be mastered. As I become more and more master of these. 3 things happens. I become liberated. I can act with intellegence. I can experience the self.

My state of mind becomes extremely constuctive.

It is a 30 days challenge.

Every day you listen Micheal singher in the night. a 40/50 min session. I am happy to just meditate through out the day. Or do something constructive. Or explore the self.

The actual problem is not about kids, it is about showing a flashy image of playing with kids and then you get attracted and craving for it, or believing an idea, an old man with regrets, and then trying to avoid it. I am working on and will transcend this layer. Instead of trying to follow what it is saying, in a moment, the whole voice changes. No substance here.

Then life is about experiences, and it is one of the major experiences, the experience of raising and guiding life, the attachment of child, and needs of it. There is also a huge responsibility that comes with it. There are a lot of other experiences, and you will not have them all. The experience of love and transcends, the experience of meaningful work, wealth, passion…

Some people have such a nature that they enjoy playing with kids, for whatever reasons, I don’t have such nature, I have a nature of self-realizations...

My practice is drifting for the last few days. There is a lack of seriousness, the posture is lumpy. And the mind is running wild. Metta is almost gone.

The morning videos are not being created as well.

How can keep practicing optimally?

One part is you need to be inspired. This happens when you create a daily video. Going through that material creates inspiration.

Then the practice has to be proper, There has to be observation of sensation, there has to be samatha, and there has to be anicha.

When the quality is declined. There are going to be the times when the mind is of a certain kind. And the quality of meditation is poor. You still do it. Because that state will change sooner or later.

There is another way that you can actually turbocharge it by giving it a boost of 3 days self retreat.

There is absolutely nothing in the world that will make you happy but you will still...

There is people in Village paying up to 4Lakh for placement in the military.
I can bring value thereby providing education and guaranteed job.

Idea is to conduct an exam and then run a 3months course and see if you can place them. This can be scaled. What you are looking for is Bikuls …

There is no compititon here and there is a large sengment. There chellenge is that they do not know what they need to know. And their perosnality is poor.

Vipassana - Meditation everyday and weekend is strong. Night meditation I started and follow few days and didn’t follow few days.

Process - Process killed me, too much clicking, jumping, womanizing, and gosh that you tube trap…

Mindful review continiued in good shape. And I started to enjoy problem solving and inquriy. And creating videos are also continued.

Selfless Service - I met those old couple and the child on road suresh. I had converstation with MAD and permanjali, some videos I watched. An idea of running an online meditaiton course came to the mind

Lin and marriage - For the most of the part the week was sharing and caring, in the end we had a fight, and I went to problem solving mode. There is a need for the vision of relationship.

Work - The shell didn’t work out, there is other incomings, but I am not feeling excited. On the other hand working on this mindset of...